The Road to Happily Ever After
by DancingRain92
Summary: Olivia and Rae are enjoying a nice, romantic dinner when Olivia gets down on one knee. She asks the question and Rae gives her answer. What happens when they return home and start to prepare for their future together? How will certain revelations and surprise visitors complicate their journey to happily ever after? Sequel to Age Ain't Nothing but a Number and The Road to Happy
1. Chapter 1: The Answer

**AN: Hello everyone. Here it is, as promised. This will be the final installment of this series. This story, technically, can be read without reading the others first. However, if you want a clear understanding of all the characters and their relationships, I'd strongly advise reading the other two stories, Age Ain't Nothing but a Number and The Road to Happy, before reading this one. As always, I love getting feedback from you all so leave your comments/reviews below. If you have suggestions and/or ideas for where you think the story should go, you can share those thoughts as well. Be honest, but please be respectful. If you like the story, tell me. If you don't like it, tell me that too, but please tell me why and I'll do my best to fix it. Saying "This is dumb" and nothing else is not helpful. I hope you all enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Here we go!**

 **Disclaimer: This will be my one and only disclaimer for this story. I do not own SVU, its stories, or any of its characters. They belong to Dick Wolf, SVU writers, and NBC. I retain ownership of original storyline and characters.**

Chapter 1: The Answer

"The first time I laid eyes on you, I knew you would be an important part of my life" Olivia said with a shaky voice. Even though she'd gone over what she'd say again and again, she was full of nerves. This would go on a list of the most important events of her life. She wanted to get it just right. "I've never been more in love with anyone as I am with you". Araeyah sat and quietly listened to Olivia as she kneeled in front of her. Her eyes, misty with tears, occasionally darted around the room. Seeing everyone staring at them made her a little self-conscious but she did her best to ignore them and focus on Olivia. "You're the strongest, smartest, most genuine, kind, loving person that I know. You've made _me_ stronger, kinder, and more loving. You've made me a better cop and a better mother. You've made me a better person. I haven't done anything to deserve you but I'm so happy you chose to be with me. I know how lucky I am to have you and I don't ever want to be without you. I want you….to be in my life….for the rest of my life. I am the happiest, luckiest woman in the world. I would be even luckier and so much happier….if you were my wife".

She paused for a moment as she took on last deep breath and opened the box holding the ring that she'd picked out for her girlfriend. It was a seven carat black gold diamond ring. The black band was decorated with a black diamond in the center and a spiraled arrangement of silver diamonds going halfway down each side of the band. Rae's hand came up and covered her mouth when she saw how beautiful the ring was. It looked like one she would pick for herself if she ever went shopping for jewelry. It was perfect. Her eyes welled up even more and a lump formed in her throat. She had to take deep calming breaths to control the emotion that was threatening to overwhelm her.

"Araeyah Aiyana Drisana Nikahd" she said using her full name. Rae had talked to Olivia about switching back to her father's name now that Charles was no longer a part of her life. Olivia said she should do whatever she wanted and she would support her decision. "Will you marry me?" she said finally asking the question she'd planned the entire trip to ask. Araeyah took a breath and took in the moment. She looked around the restaurant at the people still staring at her and Olivia, at the waiter who hadn't stepped too far away from the table, the plate still covered in red and yellow roses, at the ring being presented to her and finally at the woman she loved kneeling in front of her. She blinked back her tears and swallowed another lump threatening to form in her throat before nodding her head.

"Yes" she said weakly, barely finding her voice through the emotion she was trying her hardest to hold back. Olivia let go of a breath she'd been holding while waiting for Rae to answer. She moved into her and connected their lips in a sweet and loving kiss. The restaurant erupted in applause from other patrons as they watched the couple in their moment of celebration. When their kiss ended, Olivia removed the ring from the box and placed it on Rae's finger. She stood up and pulled Rae to her feet before kissing her again then wrapping her up in her arms. A lot was going through Rae's mind as she held onto Olivia. Her life had changed so much since they'd met and not in any ways that she could've imagined. If anyone had asked eighteen year old Araeyah what she'd be doing at twenty three, engaged with a child would not have made the list. But she loved Olivia and she did want to spend the rest of her life with her. Still, she couldn't get rid of the feeling in the pit of her stomach; the thought in the back of her head. Both of which, at some point, she'd have to share with Olivia.

When they finally parted, Rae laughed when she saw Olivia's face. She'd managed to keep her own emotions in check but Olivia had lost her own battle. She wiped the tears that were streaming down her face for her and then tidied her runny makeup. She kissed her one last time before retaking her seat. Olivia walked back over to her side of the table and sat down. The waiter stepped to their table and congratulated them. They both thanked him, especially Olivia since he'd been such a help to her.

"It wasn't a problem" he said nicely. "And now I'll go get your real dessert" he said taking the plate with the flowers from in front of Rae and walked away the table. There were still some eyes on them but most of the other diners had turned their attention back to their meals.

"I can't believe you did all of this" Rae said a bit embarrassed by the attention from everyone. "This whole trip, it was so you could propose?" she asked. Olivia smiled and nodded her head. "You didn't have to go to all of this trouble. I didn't need any of this".

"It wasn't any trouble" she said quickly. "And I know you didn't need it". She reached across the table and took her hand, caressing the new resident on her third finger. "I just wanted it to be special" she explained. "Do you like it?" she asked referring to the ring.

"Yes" she said without hesitation. "I _love_ it. It's beautiful" she said looking down at her hand as Olivia's fingers went back and forth across her new piece of jewelry. She brought her eyes back up to meet her now fiancé, "I love you" she said softly.

"I love you too" she said back. Olivia and Rae released each other's hands and pulled them back when the waiter appeared with their desserts. He set their plates in front of them along with a new bottle of wine then left them to enjoy the last portion of their meal.

Olivia told Rae how she'd talked to her mother and asked for her approval before proposing. Rae was glad to hear that her mother was happy with the idea of her and Olivia getting married. She knew she wasn't supposed to, because it was their vacation, but she couldn't help mentioning Noah, how much she missed him and how she wondered what he was up to with her mother. People stopped by their table on their way out of the restaurant to congratulate them. A few women checked out her ring and complimented her on how beautiful it was or how Olivia had done well picking it out. Once Rae had enough of all the attention they were getting, she asked if they could call it a night. Olivia agreed, not only because she'd had enough of the attention as well, but because she was ready to head back to the hotel and do some more celebrating in private. Once the bill was taken care of, they walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, saying their last thank yous to the congratulations they received on their way out. Olivia drove them back to the hotel and they walked, still hand in hand, up to their room. They made their way to the bed, undressing each other as they went. They each took their turn making love to the other, paying special attention to all of their favorite parts of one another, before collapsing in each other's arms. They fell asleep, both completely happy and completely in love with one another. Neither of them felt that things could be any more perfect in that moment.

Rae woke up the next morning to the feeling of Olivia's lips trailing kisses across her shoulder. She smiled as the kisses moved up her neck to the soft spot that drove her wild. She moaned softly, eyes still closed and heavy with sleep, as Olivia lightly sucked on her neck. She slowly woke herself and turned over to face her fiancé. Fiancé. That word still felt weird to her to think. She was sure it'd feel even weirder once she said it out loud. Her eyes now open, she looked up at Olivia who smiled down at her.

"Good morning beautiful" she said softly. Rae smiled and a light blush colored her cheeks.

"Good morning" she said back. Olivia leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. "What time is it?"

"Nine thirty". Rae groaned and buried her face in Olivia's neck. "I know" she said feeling the same as her fiancé. Their flight out was at twelve thirty and they hadn't done any packing. If they stayed in bed any longer they might miss their flight home. After a few more minutes of snuggling under the covers, they both got out of bed. They shared the shower to save time, got dressed, and started packing up their things. By eleven fifteen they were checked out of their room and on their way to return their rental. They got a ride to the airport from the rental agency, went through airport security and made it to their gate as soon as their flight started boarding passengers. They were both sad to leave. They had a lot of fun on their vacation. But they were excited to get back home to their son and share the news of their engagement with their family and friends.

When their flight finally landed and they exited the plane, they picked up their luggage and headed out to find a taxi. It never ceased to amaze Rae how they could return with so much more luggage than they left with. When she complained, Olivia reminded her that she was the one that'd bought almost all of the extra items they'd returned with. She'd bought a ton of stuff for herself and Olivia and Noah. And of course they couldn't leave without getting something for everyone else too. Rae called her mom and told her that they were home. She offered to pick them up but she said they'd take a taxi home, drop off their luggage and then come to her house to get Noah. They hurried out of the airport and hailed a cab and made their way home. They hauled their luggage up to the apartment and decided to unpack before they got Noah so they didn't have to take time away from him to do it later. Once they got everything put away, they headed out of the apartment to her mom's house. Rae used her key to let them in. When they got inside, they could hear music coming from Noah's play room. They walked towards the sound and peeked into the room. Soraya saw her daughter stick her head into the room.

"Noah, look who's here" she said pointing towards the door. Noah stopped playing on his keyboard and turned to look in the direction her finger was pointing. "Who is that?"

"Mama" he answered with a big smile. Rae's smile back was even bigger. She stepped fully into the room, kneeling with open arms as her son hurried over to her.

"Hi my Noah bear" she said excitedly. She wrapped him in her arms and hugged him tight, kissing him on his head. Olivia stepped into the room behind her and Noah pointed at her.

"Mommy" he said still smiling.

"Hey little man" she said happily. Noah went to her and held out his arms. She picked him up and placed him on her hip. "How ya doin'?" she asked before giving him a kiss. "We missed you". Rae went over to her mother and gave her a hug.

"Thanks again for keeping him, mom".

"Of course" Soraya said with a smile. "I'm always happy to have him here".

"So he was ok the whole time?" she asked. "His asthma….."

"He was just fine" she assured her.

"Good" she said with a nod.

"So, how was the trip?" Soraya asked looking back and forth between them. Olivia put Noah down on the floor and he went back to playing on his keyboard. She walked over and stood next to Rae.

"It was great" Rae answered, "we had a lot of fun. Ice skating and we went to a theme park, sight seeing…." She said going through the list of things they did on their vacation. "Got engaged" she added holding up her left hand to show off her ring. Soraya beamed with happiness for her daughter as she pulled her into a hug. She hugged Olivia next and congratulated them.

"It's beautiful" Soraya said as she got a closer look at Rae's ring. "You did an excellent job" she said looking to Olivia.

"Thank you". Soraya went over and kneeled next to Noah.

"Did you hear that Noah?" she said softly. "Your moms are getting married". Noah laughed and continued to play his music. "Think he understands?" she asked looking up at her daughter and her fiancé.

"Probably not" Rae said with a laugh.

"You should stay for dinner" Soraya said getting up from the floor. "James will be home soon. You can tell him the news". Rae looked to Olivia who nodded her head.

"Ok" she agreed.

"Great" Soraya said happily. "Ah, look at you, my love" she said taking Rae's face in her hands. "If your father were here to see the woman you've become" she said getting emotional, "and the life you're living, he'd be so proud".

"Mersi" Rae said with a little mist in her eyes. She kissed her mother on one cheek then the other before she left her and Olivia alone with Noah to go decide what to cook for dinner. Rae and Olivia sat down on the floor and watched as Noah went from toy to toy in his playroom. He finally went over to the bookshelf and pulled down his favorite book. It was a book that taught different animals and made the animal's sound every time a page was turned. He brought it over and handed it to Rae before climbing on her lap and settling down.

"Coo" he said pointing to the book cover.

"Yes that's a cow' Rae said with a laugh. Olivia scoot over so that she was behind Rae and let her lean back against her chest while Noah leaned back against Rae's. She opened the book to the first page and started to read. Noah made the sound of every animal along with the book. An hour later, when Jimmy got home, they were still in Noah's play room. He walked in and saw them still sitting in a row, Rae leaning against Olivia and Noah in Rae's lap, and smiled from ear to ear.

"Hey" he said getting their attention. They looked up saw him standing in the doorway.

"Hey" they both said at the same time.

"How was Washington?" he asked.

"It was good" Olivia answered. "Really good".

"You bring me anything?" he asked eagerly. They both laughed.

"Yes, of course" Rae said shaking her head. "It's in the car".

"Can I go get it?"

"No" Rae said getting up from the floor. "You can have it after dinner". Olivia got up and picked Noah up, sitting him on her hip.

"So what'd you do in Washington?" he asked. "Spare me the sexy details" he added. Rae scoffed and playfully shoved him out of the room.

"Shut up" she said with a laugh. "We, well, we went ice skating and to theme parks and sightseeing. All the normal tourist things that people do when visiting cities".

"Ok. That's cool" he said as they walked over to the living room and sat on the couch.

"And….." Olivia said prompting her to tell him the most important part of their trip.

"And…..we got engaged" she said happily. Jimmy's jaw dropped.

"No way" he said in disbelief. Rae nodded her head and showed him her ring. "Holy shit" he said when he saw the diamond.

"James!" Soraya yelled from the kitchen, "Watch your mouth".

"Sorry" he said embarrassed. Rae and Olivia tried hard to stifle their laughter at him being scolded. "Wow, congratulations. I'm so happy for you both. And you too Noah" he said poking at his side. Noah laughed at being tickled. He'd brought a book from his play room and was standing at the coffee table, turning pages as if he were actually reading. "So when's the wedding?"

"Oh, we haven't talked about that yet" Rae said quickly. "But we already know who our ring bearer's gonna be don't we" she said leaning forward giving Noah kisses. She got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen. "Mom, when's dinner gonna be ready?" she asked hovering over her shoulder.

"Just a few more minutes Araeyah" she said shooing her away.

"Ajaleh kon. Man goshneh am" she said impatiently. (Hurry up. I'm hungry)

"Don't rush, azizam. Go sit down" she said pushing her out of the kitchen. She went back over and picked Noah up.

"Let's get ready for dinner buddy" she said taking his book from the table. "Mom says it'll be ready in a few minutes" she said looking at Olivia and Jimmy. They both nodded and got up from the couch. Olivia took Noah's book from her and went to put it back on Noah's book shelf. Rae took Noah to the bathroom and started to wash his hands.

"I can't believe you're getting married" Jimmy said closing the toilet lid and sitting down next to her.

"Well, it's not gonna be tomorrow". She finished washing Noah's hands, dried them and then sat him on Jimmy's lap so she could wash her own.

"I know that" he said putting Noah in a comfortable position. "But _you_ ….. getting married…."

"Did you think I would never get married or something?" Olivia stopped just outside the bathroom when she heard them talking about Rae getting married.

"No" he said quickly. "I mean yes, but just…."

"Just what?" she asked encouraging him to go on. She took Noah from him and they switched places so he could wash his hands.

"Just not to her that's all" he finally said.

"Why not?" Rae asked interested in his reasoning. He shrugged. She mockingly shrugged back.

"I mean, I don't know. It's just….Olivia".

"Mommy" Noah said hearing her name.

"Is Olivia your mommy?' Rae asked in her baby voice. "She is isn't she?" She stood up from the toilet and sat him on her hip, kissing him on the cheek. "We're not done talking about this" she said looking at her brother. Olivia walked into the bathroom as she was about to walk out.

"Mommy" Noah said pointing at Olivia.

"Hey little man" she said leaning down giving him a kiss. Jimmy finished washing his hand and walked out of the bathroom behind his sister. Olivia went in the bathroom and shut the door, wanting to take minute to process the small part of the conversation she'd just heard between her fiancé and future brother in law. She wondered what Jimmy meant when he said he thought Rae would never marry her. Her train of thought was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Liv dinner" Rae called through the door.

"Ok, I'll be right there". She finished washing her hands and left the bathroom to join her family for dinner. She sat at the table between Rae and Noah who was already making a mess with his food in his high chair. Olivia filled her plate with food as Soraya and Jimmy fired away at her and Rae with questions about their wedding. There was a lot of shrugging shoulders and "we don't know yet". When Rae couldn't keep up with their questions anymore she told them to stop.

"We just got engaged yesterday. We haven't planned the wedding yet. We just want to enjoy the engagement for a while. Right babe?" she asked looking to Olivia. "Babe" she said nudging Olivia to get her attention.

"Hum?" she mumbled snapping out of her trance.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah" she said with a nod. "I was just thinking. But yeah" she added, "enjoying the engagement for a while sounds good". They finished dinner with casual conversation between them. Rae noticed that Olivia was unusually quiet. She didn't understand where her current mood had come from. She seemed to be somewhere else. They finished dinner and then Olivia and Soraya played with Noah in his toy room while Rae got their gifts from the car. She gave one to her mother and then went downstairs to give one to Jimmy. While she was down there, she finished her conversation with him about why he thought she'd never marry Liv. They came back upstairs and played with Noah in his play room a while longer before deciding it was time for them to head home. They packed up Noah's things and said their goodbyes then headed home for the evening.


	2. Chapter 2: Not in the Mood

Chapter 2: Not in the Mood

Rae drove her own car home from her mother's while Olivia and Noah rode in Olivia's car. Once they got up to their apartment, Rae took Noah and his bag to his room while Olivia went to the bathroom to start the water for his bath. Rae undressed Noah and put all of his dirty clothes in his laundry basket before carrying him into the bathroom and putting him in the tub. She played with him while he sat in the water and Olivia just sat there next to the tub, her mind elsewhere. Rae just let her be and finished up bath time with Noah.

Once he was changed into his pajamas and laid in his bed it didn't take much for him to fall asleep. Rae guessed he'd had a busy day. She turned out his light and pulled the door up then went into their bedroom. Olivia had already changed and was sitting in bed reading. Rae changed out of her clothes, took off her bra and underwear, put on a t shirt and climbed into bed. She scoot in close to her and laid her head on her shoulder. Olivia didn't acknowledge her, just continued reading her book. She leaned her head up and kissed her neck. She trailed kisses along her jaw up to her lips as she reached her hand under the covers and tried to touch her. Olivia lightly pushed her hand away.

"Stop" she said softly.

"What's wrong?" Rae asked confused.

"Nothing. I'm just….I'm not really in the mood" she said looking back down at her book.

"Ok" she said disappointed. Olivia had never not been in the mood before when Rae wanted to have sex. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked not looking up from her book.

"You've been in your head a lot tonight and now you're not in the mood" she said sitting up and facing her. "You're never not in the mood". Olivia just kept reading. "Liv" Rae said reaching over and taking her book. She closed it and set it on the bed next to her. "Talk to me. What's on your mind?"

"I heard you talking to Jimmy" she said finally looking at her, "when you were in the bathroom. He said he thought you would never marry me".

"Oh Liv, he didn't mean…."

"Why does he think you'd never marry me?" she asked cutting her off.

"He didn't mean anything by that babe. He was just….he was…." She didn't know what to say to explain what her brother had said.

"He just what?" Olivia said encouraging her to finish. "You talked to him, right?" She nodded her head. "What'd he say?"

"He just didn't expect us to get back together after…." She paused.

"After I cheated on you" she said finishing her statement for her. She nodded again.

"He didn't think we'd be able to move past it and be happy, that's all. He didn't mean anything bad about you. He loves you" she assured her.

"So you never told him you wouldn't marry me?"

"No, Liv" she answered quickly. "Of course not. I love you and I want to marry you. That's all that matters, right?" Olivia finally got a small smile on her face.

"Right" she said softly. Rae smiled and leaned in, kissing her softly on the lips. Olivia kissed her again, harder this time. Obviously her mood had changed. "So" she said now positioned on top of Rae, "who did….he think….you would marry?" she asked between kisses.

"Ummm" she mumbled, "Why is that important?" she asked. Olivia stopped kissing her and looked down at her.

"He said who he thought you'd marry?" she asked.

"No". Olivia looked at her sideways, knowing that she was lying. "He might have" she said changing her answer. "It's not important, Liv. I'm marrying you".

"I know it's not important…."

"Then why do you wanna know?"

"I just do" she answered with a shrug. "Who did he say?" Rae sighed and prepared for Olivia to overreact to her answer.

"Amanda" she said finally.

"Rollins?" she asked sitting up.

"Amanda" she repeated. It always annoyed her when Olivia called people by their last names, especially Amanda. She called her by her last name more often than anyone else. She knew she only did so because she still had some resentment over the fact that they'd dated. "Olivia, what is the big deal?"

"Does your mom think that you should marry her too?"

"Nobody thinks that I _should_ marry her" she corrected. "He just thought, at one point in time, that maybe I would".

"I can't believe this" Olivia said settling down under the covers. Whatever mood she'd found was completely lost again.

"Ugh, babe" Rae said crawling over to her, "It's not a big deal".

"That your brother doesn't think you marry me isn't a big deal?"

"You're completely twisting things. Jimmy doesn't think that I shouldn't marry you" she said kneeling next to her. "He's excited that we're getting married. He's happy for us".

"Because he didn't think that we would make it?"

"Because I'm his sister and he loves me" she countered. "And he knows how happy you make me and how much I love you". She leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. "It doesn't matter what he thought before" she said before kissing her again. "All that matters is where we are now. Ok?"

"Ok" she whispered. "But why Amanda?" she asked not able to let go of the fact that Jimmy thought she and Amanda would get married. Rae let her head fall on Olivia's chest and sighed.

"You're killing me" she said shaking her head.

"I'm sorry. I'm just…..intrigued" she said choosing her words carefully. Jealous was more like it but she didn't want to say that out loud. Rae pulled the covers back and scoot underneath them, making herself comfortable. She laid her head on Olivia's shoulder and draped her arm over her waist.

"I don't know" she said finally even though he'd told her why. She just didn't want to continue this discussion. "Maybe you should ask him".

"Ok" Olivia said simply. "I will".

"I was just kidding" Rae said quickly. She didn't really want Olivia to talk to Jimmy about her marrying Amanda. "Can we just drop this, please?"

"I feel like you're lying and he really did tell you why he thought you'd marry her" Olivia said ignoring Rae's request to drop it.

"Ok, he told me" she admitted. "But so what. It doesn't matter what he thought would happen or wouldn't happen. We are getting married. You and me".

"I just want to know why he thinks you want to marry her."

"He doesn't think. He thought" she corrected. "When Amanda and I were together, he _thought_ ", she said with emphasis on the past tense, "that I might marry".

"Ok, thought. But he never thought you'd marry me so I just want to know….."

"Olivia I don't want to talk about this anymore" she said moving away from her to her side of the bed. She reached over and turned her lamp off then settled down with her back to her.

"Why won't you just tell me?" Olivia said getting suspicious of Rae's refusal to talk about Amanda. Rae just ignored her and closed her eyes to go to sleep. "Araeyah".

"Olivia, it doesn't matter why" she said annoyed.

"It matters to me" Olivia said back, raising her voice slightly.

"Why!" she yelled. "Why does it matter to you?"

"Because you were in love with her and sometimes….." she paused realizing what she was about to say. She wasn't sure she wanted to finish her sentence out loud.

"Sometimes what?" Rae asked wanting her to finish.

"Never mind" she said reaching over to turn off her light.

"No, not never mind". She'd wanted to have this conversation so now they were gonna have it. "Sometimes what?"

"Sometimes I think you still are" she finished.

"You cannot be serious" Rae couldn't believe she'd just said that. They'd been back together and happy for two years now. Not once had she thought that Olivia suspected she still had feelings for Amanda. And now that they were engaged to be married she was questioning her. "Then why did you ask to marry you?" she asked after some thought.

"Because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you" she answered.

"Even if I might be in love with someone else?" Olivia didn't want to answer her out loud so she did in her head. Yes she wanted to marry her, even if she still had feelings for Amanda. Hell, she'd still wanted to be with her when she was positive she had feelings for Amanda. Why wouldn't she move forward past a suspicion? "Why?" she asked looking at her.

"Why what?" Olivia asked confused.

"Why do you think I'm still in love with Amanda?" Olivia regretted now that she'd insisted on having this conversation. She wished she'd just agreed to drop it when Rae asked. But they had promised each other to talk about everything, even if it was hard. This was something they needed to talk about if they wanted to get past it and continue being happy together.

"You spend a lot of time with her and you call each other all of the time" she said answering her. "You still have a key to her apartment" she added. "And I don't want all of that to bother me but it does. I mean what if I still spent time with David or Brian. Wouldn't that bother you?"

"Ok, David and Amanda _are not_ a fair comparison. I didn't cheat on you with Amanda. We'd been apart for a year before I started dating her" she said making it clear that she would not be okay with her talking to David. "But I wouldn't care if you talked to Brian" she continued. "I like Brian. I think he's a cool guy. And it's not like you ended on bad terms with each other. If you wanna be friends then go for it. It wouldn't bother me at all".

"Well, Amanda bothers me" she said with a shrug. "I can't help it. It just does. You spending time with her bothers me".

"Amanda and I are friends. We spend time together and talk to each other because we're friends. Yes, I love her but _only_ as a friend" she assured her. "And I have a key to her apartment because I sometimes take care of Frannie for her. If it bothers you so much then I'll give the key back but I won't stop being friends with Amanda". Olivia just sat there looking down at the pattern of their blankets. "Olivia, look at me". She waited until her browns eyes came up to meet hers. "I love you. I'm in love with you. There isn't an ounce of me that still has feelings for Amanda" she said confidently. "I don't want to be with anyone else. I want to be with you. I want to marry you. I want you….I _need you_ to trust me".

"I do trust you" she said without hesitation.

"And trust Amanda too" she added. "She wouldn't do anything to come between us. She's happy for us. You have nothing to worry about. Ok?" Olivia took a deep breath and let it go.

"Ok". She leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you".

"I love you too". They settled down to go to sleep. Rae laid head her on Olivia again and rode the rise and fall of her chest. She felt the change in her breathing as she drifted off to sleep. She just laid there with her eyes open, staring into the darkness of their bedroom. She didn't know how to feel about the conversation she'd just had with Olivia. She didn't know how long Olivia had felt this way about her and Amanda but she couldn't believe she hadn't said anything to her about it before. She eventually just put it out of her mind and went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Too Soon

Chapter 3: Too Soon

The next morning, Olivia woke up earlier than Rae and went down to the laundry room. Rae woke up when she heard Noah crying in his room. She turned over and saw that Olivia was already gone from bed and assumed that she would get him. She turned back over and closed her eyes to go back to sleep. But Noah kept crying.

"Liv?" she called out. She got no response. "Olivia?" she called out again. She still got no response so she got up from bed and put on a pair of shorts before leaving their bedroom. She looked into the kitchen and living room and didn't see Olivia. Finally, she opened Noah's bedroom door and saw him sitting up in his bed, still crying. "Hey buddy" she said picking him up from the bed. "Where's your mommy?" she asked sitting him on her hip. He started to settle down now that he was in her arms. She walked out of his room and went to the kitchen to decide on something for breakfast. "Mommy snuck out, huh?" He sniffled and laid his head on her shoulder. She rubbed his back and kissed him on top of his head. The front door opened and Olivia walked in.

"Morning" she said as she walked over to the kitchen.

"Morning" Rae said back. She handed Noah over to her before giving her a kiss. "Where were you?"

"I went to put some loads in the laundry" she answered. "Morning little man" she said before kissing him on the cheek.

"'You want anything special for breakfast?" Olivia shook her head no before going over to the living room with Noah. She put him on the floor and he immediately went over to his toy box and started pulling toys out to play with. Rae decided on waffles for breakfast. She got busy making breakfast while Olivia played with Noah in the living room. Once they'd finished eating, Rae took over with Noah so Olivia could go back down to the laundry room. They stayed in the apartment until all the laundry was done and put away then they got themselves ready to go out. They took Noah to the park to play then went to lunch before returning to the apartment to put him down for his nap. They stayed inside for the rest of the day. The next day, Olivia went back to work and Rae stayed home with Noah. She called Olivia during her lunch hour and asked when they would tell everyone about their engagement. Christmas was just a few days away and they'd already invited everyone over to her mother's house for dinner. She suggested they tell everyone then. They talked until Olivia had to get back to work.

Rae was ready to get back to school. She'd enjoyed her vacation with Olivia and she loved her time at home with Noah, but she was getting bored. She regretted not taking him to daycare for the first half of the day and then picking him up early to spend time with him. There was only so much to do inside the apartment to keep him entertained and she didn't want to go to the park twice in two days. It was cold out and she didn't want to risk him having any problems with his lungs. She decided to get out his music instruments and let him play. It didn't take long for her to regret that because all he did was bang on the keys of his keyboard or pluck the strings on his guitar and bang on his drums. After twenty minutes, she had a headache. She decided to put him down for his nap. While he was sleeping, she got on her laptop and looked up music classes for toddlers. She and Olivia had talked about getting him into music classes but hadn't taken the steps to find one. She bookmarked the ones she liked the best then closed her laptop and went to her bedroom to take nap of her own.

She woke up to the sound of Noah coughing in his bedroom. She went in his room to check on him and found him still fast asleep. She went to the kitchen to decide on a snack for him for when he woke up. He started coughing again and this time it woke him. She went in his bedroom and got him from his bed, putting him on the floor and letting him go where he pleased. She went back to the kitchen and continued putting his snack together. Noah went back to playing with his instruments and even over all the noise he was making, she could hear his coughing. She got his machine from his room and sat down with him for a breathing treatment. He was not happy about it. He hated wearing the mask on his face and wasn't cooperating with Rae at all.

"Come on Noah bear" she said trying to get him to sit down. She tried to put the mask on his face but he would pull away and go back to his music. She moved to the floor and tried to put it on his face again, this time leaving him on the floor with his instruments instead of sitting him in her lap. She thought if she let him continue to play he'd be more willing to wear the mask. He wasn't. He pulled the mask from his face and threw it on the floor, still coughing his lungs up. "Noah, you have to put this on" she said pulling him away from his toys and sitting him in her lap again. He started to throw a tantrum, making his coughing even worse and making it that much harder for Rae to give him his breathing treatment. "Noah, cut it out" she said trying to get him to behave. But he wanted no part of it. His breathing became more labored and Rae was getting more and more frustrated. She finally got Noah to sit still and keep the mask on his face. After ten minutes of breathing treatment, his coughing and wheezing still wasn't getting any better. She didn't want to but she decided it was time to take him to his doctor.

She called Olivia on her way there but got no answer. When she got to the hospital they took Noah and she couldn't go with him. She sat in the waiting room and tried to call Olivia again but still got no answer so she tried Amanda. She told her that Liv was in a meeting with Chief Dodds. She asked her to interrupt them and give her the phone, that it was an emergency. Amanda went and knocked on Olivia's office door and told her what Rae said. Olivia took the phone.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"I'm at the hospital with Noah"

"What? Why? What happened?" she asked worriedly.

"His asthma" she said simply. "He just would not stop coughing".

"Ok. I'm on my way" she hung up and gave Amanda back her phone. "I'm sorry Cheifs Dodds but I have to go".

"Everything alright?" he asked.

"I don't know. That was my fiancé. Our son is in the ER" she explained.

"Fiancé?" Amanda asked surprised. Olivia inwardly kicked herself at her slip up.

"Uh, yeah" she said as she gathered her things to leave. "But we haven't told everyone yet. We're announcing at Christmas dinner so….."

"No, yeah. I won't say anything" Amanda assured her. Olivia looked to Chief Dodds.

"Who would I tell?" he asked with a shrug.

"Congratulations" Amanda said with a smile.

"Thank you". She walked out of her office and Amanda and Dodds followed. "I have to leave" she said looking at Fin and Carisi.

"What's going on?" Carisi asked.

"Rae's at the ER with Noah. Fin you're in charge".

"I got it covered" he said confidently.

"You'll call, let us know how he's doing?" Amanda asked as she sat back down at her desk.

"Yeah, I will". She turned and headed out of the squad room.

"Man, that kid is always in the ER, huh?" Carisi asked.

"Yeah" Amanda said softly. "But he's a strong little guy. He'll be alright". Olivia arrived at the hospital and found Rae sitting in the waiting room. She rushed over to her and gave her a hug.

"Have they said anything?" Rae shook her head.

"They wouldn't let me go back there. Dr. Lee is in with him now".

"How did this happen? He seemed fine this morning at breakfast".

"He _was_ fine. He was happy, playing. Then I put him down for his nap and he woke up coughing" she explained. "I gave him a breathing treatment but it didn't help. Would you go ask them what's going on. Maybe they'll actually tell you something since you're his mother".

"You're his mother too Araeyah" Olivia said firmly.

"I kn….you know what I mean". She did. Since Olivia was legally his mother, they would give her information that they wouldn't give to Rae. Olivia sighed and got up to go find out about Noah. She'd be damn glad when they were married, Rae was finally able to adopt Noah and they didn't have to deal with things like this anymore. Olivia saw Dr. Lee who told her that they'd had to increase Noah's albuterol levels. They'd gotten his breathing under control and his chest x ray was clear. The prescription for his rescue inhaler would stay the same but the one for his breathing machine would change. She needed to fill it as soon as possible. She sent the order for his new prescription to their regular pharmacy and got her the paperwork so she could take Noah home.

Rae took Noah and headed to the pharmacy to fill his prescription. Olivia headed back to work. She was bombarded with questions about Noah as soon as entered the squad room. She explained that he was going to be fine. They just had to up his asthma meds. They'd gotten a new case in while she was gone so they gathered around the media table to fill her in. Hours later, she was headed home to Rae and Noah. Rae let her put Noah down as soon as she got home. It was still a bit early but he was all tuckered out. Once he was tucked into bed, they sat in the living room on the couch with a bottle of wine.

"So, I, uh, I told Amanda…Amanda and Dodds actually, that we're engaged".

"Wha…I thought we were waiting for Christmas dinner to tell everyone?" Rae asked.

"I know. I didn't mean to. It just came out" she said with a soft laugh. "But it's ok. They both said they won't say anything" she added. Rae shook her head and took a sip from her glass.

"Fine. Just don't let it slip to anyone else before dinner on Thursday".

"I won't" she assured her. "So have you been thinking about a date?"

"Umm" she mumbled as she took another drink from her glass. "A date for what?"

"For the wedding" Olivia said obviously.

"Oh" she said simply. She leaned forward and set her glass down on the table. "I don't know. All the trendy dates are gone" she said sadly. Olivia laughed.

"Trendy dates?"

"Yeah. You know, like triple digits. Ten ten ten, or eleven eleven eleven. Do you think anyone ever got married on six six six?" Olivia continued laughing. "They're marriage probably went horribly wrong" she said laughing with her fiancé. "Have you thought about a date?"

"Umm…as soon as possible".

"What like tomorrow?" she asked jokingly.

"Why not?"

"Uh…ummm….you're serious?"

"Yeah. Why wait?"

"We haven't even been engaged for a whole week. We haven't even told all of our friends".

"Ok. Well then let's do it at Christmas dinner" she suggested. "Everyone will be there. It'll be great".

"No" Rae said simply. "That's too soon".

"I think it'd be perfect" she said before finishing her wine and setting her glass on the table.

"We can't get married in two days, Liv. I mean, what about Nick? Don't you want him here? And Ashley and Scott? They're out of town for Christmas this year" she said going on without letting her answer. "It's just…it's too soon".

"Ok" Olivia said deciding not argue anymore. She got up from the couch, took the bottle of wine and their glasses to the kitchen then went into their bedroom without saying anything else. Rae sat on the couch alone for a few minutes before heading in their room to get ready for bed. She changed her clothes then brushed her teeth before climbing into bed next to her fiancé.

"Are you mad?"

"No".

"Are you sure?"

"Yes". Rae reached over and turned her bedside lamp off then settled down to go to sleep. "Why'd you call Rol…Amanda today?" Olivia asked quietly.

"What?" Rae asked confused.

"When you were at the hospital with Noah, you called Amanda. Why'd you call her?" Rae rolled her eyes at the question.

"Olivia, I'm not doing this with you" she said.

"Not doing what?"

"I'm not having this conversation again. I'm going to sleep". She angrily fluffed her pillow and got comfortable. She was tired of going back and forth with Olivia about her friendship with Amanda. More than anything, she was tired of explaining herself and answering questions, that she felt, shouldn't even be asked. She didn't care anymore if it upset Olivia. She wasn't going to stop talking to Amanda and she wasn't going to give in on the wedding date. Olivia would just have to accept it.


	4. Chapter 4: We're Not Ready

**AN: Hello all! Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate. For those of you who don't, I hope you're having a beautiful day wherever you are. Here's a new chapter for you. As always, leave your comments and suggestions below. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 4: We're Not Ready

The next morning, Rae woke up early and sat in the living room alone. She thought about her conversation with Olivia the night before. She couldn't believe that she wanted to get married so soon. And without all of their friends there. She always wanted to rush everything, never taking the time to enjoy the moment. First it was Noah's adoption and now their marriage. She was just moving way too fast. Noah started to fuss in his room so she got up and went to get him. She let him down from his bed and he wandered out of his room into the living room. He sat in front of the book shelf for a minute then got up and went into Rae and Olivia's bedroom. He walked around to the side that Olivia was asleep on and tried to climb on the bed but it was too tall for him.

"Mommy" he yelled as he pulled on the covers. Rae chuckled watching him try to wake Olivia. She went to the kitchen and got started on breakfast. Just as she was sitting breakfast on the table, Olivia came out of the bedroom with Noah. She put him in his chair and Rae sat his bowl and plate in front of him. She took down two more bowls and two plates for her and Olivia and got silverware from the drawer. Olivia put cereal in all of their bowls and toast on their plates. She and Noah had jam and Rae had peanut butter. Rae grabbed Noah's cup and two glasses then sat them on the table before getting the milk from the refrigerator.

"What was your meeting about?" she asked as she poured them all some milk. She put the carton back in the frig then joined them at the table.

"What meeting?"

"When I called yesterday Amanda said you were in a meeting with Chief Dodds" she explained. "What was it about?"

"Oh, ummm, just politics. The cases we're working on, he thinks I should choose better".

"What does that mean?"

"It means we take cases that 1PP thinks we should let drop because of….politics". Rae nodded her understanding.

"Hot" Noah said before blowing his oatmeal.

"Hot?" Rae asked with soft laugh.

"Hot, hot, hot". He started blowing on his oatmeal before trying again. He took a mouthful and then started dancing and humming in his chair. Rae and Olivia laughed as he continued to dance and hum in his chair as he ate his breakfast.

"I looked up some music classes for Noah" Rae said turning to Olivia. "There were a few that looked good. I bookmarked them so we can look at them together later".

"Ok" Olivia said simply.

"Are we going to talk about this?"

"Talk about what? You made yourself clear. You don't want to get married tomorrow. What's there to talk about?"

"Olivia, I just….we said we were gonna enjoy this for a while" she reminded her, "the engagement. Let's not rush this. Let's take time to celebrate it and plan something special".

"I didn't take you for wanting a big wedding".

"I didn't say big. I said special".

"And Christmas isn't special?" she asked.

"It is. I mean it would be if it weren't so rushed; you know, last minute" she explained. "And come on, do you really want our anniversary to be on a holiday? We'd never be able to spend it alone. We'd have to celebrate the day before or after. Let's pick a day that'll just be ours".

"Ok" Olivia agreed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah". She leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. "Too bad all the trendy dates are gone" she joked. Rae laughed then gave her another kiss. "What are you and Noah gonna do today?" she asked getting up from the table, starting to clear their breakfast dishes.

"Ummm, I think I'm gonna take him to daycare so he can be with other kids" she said as she got up and helped Olivia clear the table. "Then pick him up early and steal Frannie for a while".

"Does Rollins know that you take her dog all of the time?"

"Yes and no" she answered. "She knows that I take her. She just doesn't always know when I take her".

"Did you give her the key back?" she asked. Rae paused then continued with taking Noah out of his chair.

"Ummm….no" she answered.

"You said you would give it back if it bothered me" she reminded her. Rae sighed.

"I know I did".

"Well it bothers me".

"Ok but….if I give the key back then how am I supposed to get Frannie?"

"Why do you have to take care of Rollins' dog?"

"Amanda" she corrected her, "and I don't have to. I want to. When y'all work long hours, she's in the apartment all day by herself. I like taking her out and Noah loves playing with her".

"We'll get him his own dog then" she said with a shrug.

"That doesn't help Frannie" she pointed out.

"Well you can talk to her about leaving a key somewhere for you" she suggested.

"Olivia if she's gonna do that then I might as well keep the key. It's a lot safer than her leaving a key to her apartment under the mat outside her door". She finished clearing their breakfast dishes and loading them into the dishwasher. She went to living room to get Noah and found him pulling the books down from his bookcase. "Noah, no. Put those back".

"So, you're not going to give her the key back?"

"Olivia, I will give the key back if it makes you feel better". Olivia could tell that Rae didn't really want to give the key back and she was tired of arguing with her about it.

"You know what, its fine. Just keep it". She turned and headed in their room to get ready for work. Noah put the last book back on the shelf and Rae picked him up and headed to his bedroom to get him ready for daycare. They left the apartment at the same time and headed their separate ways for the day. Once Rae dropped Noah to daycare she had nothing to do so she called her friends to see if any of them were free to get together. Simone was still on break from the high school so she went over to her place. They sat on the couch with a cup of coffee. Simone immediately noticed the new piece of jewelry on Rae's third finger and she confirmed that Olivia had asked her to marry her. Simone was really happy for her friend but she could tell that, despite the good news, something was bothering her.

"Olivia is just being so difficult" she said frustrated.

"Difficult how?"

"Like with the whole key thing with Amanda".

"Explain".

"I still have a key to Amanda's apartment from when we were together and she wants me to give it back".

"Ok. Why?" Simone asked.

"She says it bothers her that I still have it. You know she actually said to me that she thinks I still have feelings for her?" Simone raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah. We're together, living together, raising a child together and this whole time she's been thinking that I might be in love with someone else".

"Well why do want to keep the key?"

"It's just easier to have it" she said simply. "Especially for when I want to take Frannie. I don't have to drive all the way to the precinct, get the key from Amanda, and then return it to her when I'm done. And it's better than her leaving a key somewhere for anyone to find".

"Did you tell Olivia that?"

"Yeah. She said to just keep it but I know she doesn't really want me to". She finished her coffee and set her cup down on the table. "I just can't believe that after everything we've been through, she's still worried about Amanda of all people".

"There's not really anyone else she could worry about" Simone pointed out.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Amanda is the only other really serious relationship you've had besides Olivia. You were in love with her and…." Simone paused unsure if she should finish her statement.

"And what?" Rae asked prompting her to go on.

"And some could argue that if certain things hadn't happened, you'd still be together".

"Certain things" Rae repeated wanting clarification.

"When you and Olivia started out, you had a lot of problems. Communication, trust, jealousy, time commitments" she said going through the list. "You never had those problems with Amanda. The only problem you had with her was the gambling. If that hadn't been an issue, I mean, you two would probably still be together". Now that she thought about it, Simone was right. Things were just smoother from the beginning with Amanda. And if it hadn't been for Amanda's gambling, it's quite possible they wouldn't have broken up. "I think Olivia knows that" Simone went on breaking Rae from her train of thought.

"That's why she was so upset about what Jimmy said".

"What? What'd Jimmy say?" Simone asked.

"He…he said that he used to think that I would marry Amanda. Olivia was so mad" she said remembering back to that night. "But I've never really told her much about me and Amanda. She never wanted to hear about it. So how would she know that the gambling was our only problem?"

"It wasn't hard to see how good your relationship was. You were together for two years and…." Rae shook her head.

"No. We only dated for a year" she corrected.

"Oh come on" Simone said looking at her sideways. "You might not have called it official but you two were a couple that whole time". Rae smiled shyly and looked down at her hands. "And you made it work long distance, hardly seeing each other. Olivia didn't even want you to go" she reminded her.

"Ok" Rae said stopping her. "I get it. Amanda and I were good together….."

"Great together" Simone corrected her.

"Would you stop?" Rae asked. Simone laughed softly. She'd never been shy about the fact that she'd liked her relationship with Amanda more than her relationship with Olivia. But she also recognized how much Olivia had grown as a person and saw the difference in their current relationship from the previous one. "Olivia and I are happy. And I would never cheat on her with Amanda or anyone else".

"Are you….happy?" Simone asked.

"Yes, I am" she answered firmly.

"Because you don't seem happy right now".

"I'm happy in general" she clarified. "Right now I'm annoyed" she admitted. "I just…it frustrates me that she has these thoughts and feelings about me when…." She trailed off.

"When she's the one who cheated" Simone said finishing her sentence.

"Yes" Rae said forcefully. "And I don't want to keep bringing that up because we agreed to move on from it but she doesn't trust me. She says she does but she doesn't. If she did then my having a key to Amanda's apartment wouldn't matter to her. If I did things her way, Amanda and I wouldn't even be friends. And that pisses me off because I've never done anything for her to ever doubt that she could trust me". She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "And then she wanted us to get married tomorrow".

"Tomorrow?" Simone asked surprised. "Isn't that a bit soon?"

"That's what I said but she thinks it'd be perfect. It's just….one day she tells me that she has suspicions that I'm in love with someone else and then the very next day suggests that we get married in two days. I just don't get it" she said in frustration.

"Ok. Take a breath" Simone said squeezing her hand. Rae took another deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I love her" she said confidently. "I want to marry her. But we're not ready" she said honestly. "We're just…..we're not ready. And I can't say all of that to her because she'll just take it personally and get mad. So what do I do?"

"Maybe you should talk to Amanda" Simone suggested.

"What? Why would talking to Amanda help things between me and Olivia?" she asked confused.

"Maybe Amanda could talk to Olivia; assure her that she has nothing to worry about".

"Oh yeah, Liv would love that" she said sarcastically.

"The only other option you have is to be completely honest with Olivia. I mean, isn't that what you two agreed to anyways? That you'd be completely honest no matter what?" Rae nodded her head. "So tell her how you feel". They sat and talked for a while longer then Rae left and headed home. She had a couple of hours before she would pick Noah up from daycare and she wanted to spend it alone. She sat at home in the peace and quiet of her living room. She sorted through all of her thoughts and feelings and planned what to say to Olivia. The quiet was interrupted by a knock on the door. She went over and looked through the peephole but wasn't sure she was seeing who she thought she was seeing. She opened the door and confirmed that it was who she thought.

"Calvin".


	5. Chapter 5: Can't Go Back

Chapter 5: Can't Go Back

"Calvin" she said in surprise.

"Hey Rae" he said nonchalantly. She looked and saw the book bag on his shoulder and duffel bag in his hand. "How's it going?"

"It…it's going". She was really confused about what he was doing there. She wondered if Olivia had talked to him or his grandparents and neglected to tell her. "Come on, come in" she said stepping to the side so he could walk into the apartment. "How'd you know our address?"

"I went to your old place" he said, "you left your forwarding address with the landlord".

"Right" she said with a nod. "Uh, you can put your stuff in there" she said pointing him to the guest room. He went in and put his stuff down then came out to the living room and joined her on the couch. "So…."

"So…." He repeated, "What's up?"

"I should be asking you that. What are you doing here?"

"I wanna come live with you and Olivia" he said.

"Uh…ummm….wh…ummm". She struggled to find her words. "Does Olivia know about this?" she finally asked. "About you coming here?" He shook his head. "Do your grandparents?" He looked down at the couch.

"They died two weeks ago" he said sadly.

"Oh Calvin" she said softly. She reached over and took his hand. "What happened?"

"There was a robbery at a gas station and they were there" he explained.

"I'm so sorry" she said as pulled him into a hug. "Who have you been staying with?" she asked when she finally let go.

"They sent me to this foster home. It sucked. There were four other kids already there. They didn't even have enough food for all of us" he said angrily. "After that I went to a group home. That sucked too. The other guys were always messing with me, trying to take my stuff. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of there".

"Wh…you ran away?" He nodded. "Calvin" she said raising her voice. "They're gonna be looking for you".

"I'm not going back there" he said definitively.

"You have to".

"Why? Why can't I stay here?"

"Because you're a ward of the state now….in Vermont. You can't just live here with us. There's laws and…..stuff" she explained.

"Well, you can go to court right? Get permission from the judge?"

"Calvin, I…." she paused and took a breath. "How did you get here?"

"I took the bus" he said with a shrug. Rae closed her eyes and shook her head as she let out another sigh.

"Olivia is not going to be happy about this" she warned him. She looked at her phone and saw the time. "Come on" she said getting up from the couch. She put her shoes back on and got her coat from the closet.

"Where are we going?" he asked getting up from the couch and following her to the door.

"To pick up Noah" she answered.

"Sweet" he said excitedly.

"Calvin, I don't want you getting your hopes up about staying here with us, ok?"

"You don't want me here?" he asked sadly.

"No" she said quickly. "I mean, no, that's not why I don't want you getting your hopes up. It's just, it's not up to me, or Olivia, if you're able to stay here".

"Oh right" he said softly. "Ok". He walked out of the apartment and headed downstairs. Rae locked up the apartment and headed downstairs to the car. They picked up Noah then went over to Amanda's house to get Frannie. She left Calvin and Noah in the car while she went upstairs. She packed a bag for Frannie like usual and hooked her on her leash before leaving the apartment. She took them and went back home to the apartment. Noah didn't remember Calvin much from his first visit but they had no trouble getting along. They started playing with Frannie as soon as they got in the house. Rae went to the kitchen to make something for lunch and called Olivia. She didn't answer so she left a message for her to call her back, saying that it was important. She made sandwiches for Noah and Calvin and called them over to the table to eat before putting Frannie's bowls out for her. Her phone started to ring and she saw it was Olivia calling her back. She went in the bedroom to talk to her.

"Hey babe, what's going on? Is Noah okay?"

"Uh, yeah he's fine. We have another problem" she said sitting down on the bed.

"What?"

"Calvin's here".

"Calvin?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah. He just showed up with his things. He said he took the bus".

"Where are his grandparents?"

"They were killed two weeks ago, in a robbery" she explained.

"Oh my god".

"Yeah. He ran away from his group home, says he's not going back. He wants to stay with us". Olivia sat at her desk and rubbed her temples. She'd love for Calvin to stay with them but she wasn't sure that Rae would be happy to hear that. "Liv" Rae said interrupting her thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm here".

"What do we do?" she asked.

"Ummm…."

"I mean, he can't stay here right? Don't we have to notify the Vermont authorities? They must be looking for him".

"Yeah. I'll make some calls, ok?"

"Ok. What time will you be home?"

"It's been quiet today so I should be home by seven".

"Ok. We'll see you then. Love you".

"Love you too". She hung up the phone and went back out to Calvin, Noah and Frannie. Frannie was in the living room on the couch and Calvin, even though he'd finished his sandwich, was still at the table with Noah.

"Oh Noah" Rae said upon seeing his plate. "Why do you do this?" He looked up at her and laughed. He'd taken the sandwich apart and eaten only the inside, leaving the bread and getting mayo all over his mouth and hands. She took him out of his chair and carried him to the bathroom to wash his hands and clean his face. Then she let him down and he wandered out into the living room to play with Frannie. "So, I talked to Olivia. She's gonna make some calls and see what we're supposed to do about you being here. And we'll talk about it when she gets home, ok?"

"Ok" he said with a nod. He got up from the table and went over to play with Noah and Frannie. Rae sat on the couch with an anatomy book and looked over terminology while they played. When she got tired of reading she put her book away and got Noah shoes on and bundled him up. She told Calvin to get his coat and she got hers then took out Noah's stroller. Calvin got Frannie hooked on her leash while Rae strapped Noah in his stroller and then they left the apartment to take Frannie for a walk. When they got back home, Rae put Noah down for his nap and Calvin sat in the living room with Frannie and watched tv. Rae went in her room and got online to look at her course schedule for the upcoming semester.

Noah woke up from his nap an hour later and went over to his toy box. He took out his drums and started playing. Calvin turned up the tv so he could hear better over Noah's drumming. The noise was driving Rae insane. She told Calvin to turn the tv down and took Noah's drums away and replaced them with quieter toys. At six o'clock, she went in the kitchen and started on dinner. Olivia walked through the door forty five minutes later and Calvin rushed over to hug her. Noah wasn't far behind him. She said hello to her boys then gave Calvin a talking to for running away from his group home and taking the bus to New York by himself. He said he was sorry then said the same things to her that he'd said to Rae: that the group home was awful and he didn't want to stay there anymore. She said she understood but instead of running away, he should have called her and she would've helped him. She said they'd talk more later and sent him to get ready for dinner. She picked Noah up and went to the kitchen where Rae was working on dinner.

"Hey babe".

"Hey" she turned and gave her a kiss then kissed Noah and ruffled his hair.

"Were you okay today?" she asked. Rae furrowed her brow in confusion. "Having both of them?" she clarified. "And Frannie" she added looking down at the dog who'd just come in the kitchen and sat at her feet.

"Yeah" she said with a laugh. "It was actually easier with Calvin here" she admitted. "He was a lot of help today".

"Good" she said happily.

"That doesn't mean I think we should keep him" she said softly.

"Araeyah, I…."

"Let's just…..talk about it later ok?" she said looking over her shoulder. Olivia saw that Calvin had come back in and sat down at the table.

"Ok". She went to the bathroom to wash herself and Noah up for dinner then came back and put Noah in his chair. She went over to the kitchen and took down dishes to set the table. Rae came over and set dinner on the table. She made chili, fajita vegetables and tortillas then got juice from the refrigerator. Olivia put chili and vegetables in Noah's bowl and juice in his cup then went to her own seat. Rae was the last to sit down at the table. They ate in silence for the first few minutes. Then Calvin spoke.

"Did you make calls?" he asked looking at Olivia. "Rae said you would make some calls to see what to do about me being here".

"Uh, yeah" she said with a nod. "I did".

"Well. What'd they say?"

"You have to go back".

"That's crap" he said angrily.

"You're a ward of the state Calvin" she said regretfully. "So the state decides where you live".

"But I'm fifteen and I wanna live here with you" he said with a raised voice. "I should get a say".

"Yes, you should" she agreed, "but running away doesn't show the best judgement. A judge will question whether or not you have the maturity to make a decision about where you should live".

"But you'll come right" he asked looking back and forth between them. "You'll come to court and tell the judge that I can live here with you?" Olivia sighed. "Unless…..unless you don't want me" he said sadly.

"What? Why would you say that?" Olivia asked.

"Of course we want you" Rae said even though she wasn't completely sure she did. "It's just…..there's a lot to figure out Calvin".

"But we will figure it out" Olivia said quickly. "Ok?"

"Ok".

"Ok" she repeated. "Come on, eat your dinner". They finished eating, put away the leftovers and cleaned up the dishes. Rae got a call from Amanda that she was downstairs. She packed up Frannie's things and let the boys say goodbye then took her downstairs to Amanda. When she came back upstairs, Olivia was getting Noah ready for bed so she went and made sure Calvin was settled in. She showed him the bathroom closest to his bedroom in case he needed to go in the middle of the night and showed him where extra blankets and pillows were in the closet. When Olivia was done with Noah's bath, Calvin went in to shower. Olivia got Noah in his pajamas and tucked in and then Rae read him a story until he fell asleep. Calvin came out of the shower and went to the guest room to finish getting ready for bed and Olivia and Rae went to their room to do the same. Before they got in bed they went to make sure Calvin was ok.

"So you're all set" Olivia said from the doorway. "You remember where everything is?" He nodded.

"Well, you just come knock on our door if you need anything" Rae said.

"Ok". They both said good night then turned out his light and shut the door. They turned out the rest of the lights in the apartment then went in their room, shut the door, and got in bed.

"Did you mean it?" Olivia asked.

"Mean what?" she asked.

"What you told Calvin" she clarified, "about us wanting him".

"I….I know you want him…."

"But you don't?" she asked.

"I….I do" she said hesitantly, "but….do you think we should be trying to do this now. I mean, we're still working on Noah's adoption. And how would this even work with him being the ward of a different state?"

"I don't know. We can ask Langan. He can help us with Calvin like he's helping us with Noah".

"I don't know, Liv" she said with a sigh. "Do you really think we're ready for this? Two kids is a hell of a lot harder than one".

"But you said yourself that Calvin was a big help today…."

"No" Rae said before she could go on. "He's fifteen. I'm not going to have him helping us take care of Noah. That's not his responsibility" she said firmly.

"That's not what I mean" she assured her. "But he's not gonna need as much looking after as Noah. And he is a teenager which means he can have some responsibilities. Look we don't have to decide this tonight. We'll keep talking about it". Rae nodded.

"Yeah". She leaned over and gave her a kiss. "I love you".

"I love you too". They shared another kiss then turned out their bedside lamps and laid down to go to sleep.

The next day was Christmas. Olivia got up early to make breakfast while Rae and Noah slept in. Calvin woke up from the smell of breakfast cooking and came to the kitchen to help out. Once breakfast was put on the table Olivia woke Rae and Calvin woke Noah. He washed his hands then brought to the table and put him in his chair. Rae came to the table after brushing her teeth and washing her face and hands. Olivia made pancakes, vegetarian bacon and sausage, eggs, and grits. They had their breakfast and then went over to the living to open Christmas presents. They usually mailed Calvin's gifts every year but since he was with them this year, they could watch him open them.

"No way" he said when he opened a long box and pulled out a skate board. "Custom made?" he asked. Olivia nodded her head. "This is awesome" he said happily. "Thank you".

"You're welcome" she said with a smile. Rae handed him another box to open.

"This one is from me" she said. "I mean it's from both of us but this one was my idea" she corrected herself. He opened the box and found another awesome gift.

"Holy sh…."

"Hey" Rae said stopping him from finishing the word.

"I mean, wow" he said amending his statement. It was a laptop, pocket DJ mixer, scratch pad with records, and a synthesizer kit. She knew Calvin was into making music and wanted him to be able to make and record his own music if he wanted. "This is amazing".

"I'm glad you like it" she said happily.

"Like it?" he asked. "No. I love it". He hugged them both and thanked them again. Then it was Noah's turn to open his presents. He was much more interested in tearing off the wrapping paper than he was in the actual present. They hadn't gotten him many toys. He had plenty of those. So they got him clothes, because he'd grown out of a lot the ones he had, some books, and a painting set. Rae, Olivia and Calvin laughed as he pushed the paint set aside and continued to play with the wrapping paper he'd torn off the boxes. They finally got him to put the paper in the trash and opened his paint set for him to make his first painting. Calvin wasted no time setting up his laptop and starting to use his mixers. Rae and Olivia cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast then Olivia pulled Rae into the bedroom. She took a small box out of the closet and set it on the bed.

"Open it". Rae looked completely surprised.

"Olivia, I thought we agreed we weren't getting each other anything this year?" she asked. Olivia nodded.

"We did but this isn't really a Christmas present" she said in defense of herself.

"It's not?" She shook her head no. "Ok. What is it then?"

"It's a wedding gift. From me to us" she said with a smile. "Just open it". Rae sighed and opened the box. Inside was a brochure and tickets for hang-gliding. "You're kidding, right?"

"No. I want us to do this together".

"Hang gliding?" Olivia nodded. "Are you crazy?"

"Oh come on babe. It'll be fun". Rae looked over the brochure and thought about jumping off of a perfectly good cliff.

"I…will consider it" she said hesitantly.

"You can't make me go alone" she pouted. "Come on. I know you're not scared".

"Hang gliding is like skydiving. It's dangerous Olivia" she said setting the brochure down on the night stand.

"The package includes lessons" she pointed out.

"Well I would hope so" she said heading over to the closet. She looked through her clothes to decide on something to wear to dinner. Olivia followed behind her.

"So?" Rae sighed.

"Ok. Fine" she said finally agreeing. Olivia stood behind her, wrapped her arms around her waist and kissed her on the cheek.

"It's gonna be so much fun" she whispered in her ear.

"Yeah right. If I die, I'm gonna haunt you for the rest of your days". Olivia laughed and kissed her again.

"I'm gonna go check on the boys".

"Ok". Rae continued to look through the closet for something to wear. She settled on a blue dress and black stockings. She laid them on the bed then went out to the living room. Olivia was sitting on the floor with Noah, helping him paint, and Calvin had hooked up his new music recorder to his laptop. She sat down with him and they figured out how to work with it together. They put Noah down for his nap just after noon. Calvin took his new things to his room and Rae and Olivia went to their room while Noah was sleeping and Calvin was occupied. They both read, a textbook for Rae and novel for Olivia. After half an hour Rae had fallen asleep.

Olivia read for a while longer then got up, careful not to disturb Rae, and went to the kitchen to make lunch. She made grilled cheese and vegetable soup. She took down plates and bowls from the cabinets then set the table and put the pot of soup and the plate of sandwiches in the center. She went to Calvin's room and told him lunch was ready then went to wake Noah from his nap. She washed his hands then put him in his chair. She put soup in his bowl and a sandwich on his plate. Calvin got his own while Olivia went to wake Rae.

"Hey babe" she said moving her hair from her face.

"Hmm" she mumbled with her eyes still closed.

"I made lunch" she said rubbing her back. "You want to come eat with us?"

"Not hungry" she whispered.

"You sure?" Rae nodded her head. "Ok". She left the bedroom, pulling the door closed behind her, and went back to the table.

"Where's Rae?" Calvin asked.

"She's sleeping. She said she's not hungry".

"When do I have to go back?" Calvin asked before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"I talked to my lawyer. He's trying to arrange for you to be able to stay here until we can get a hearing. Then the judge will decide where you'll stay" she explained. She hadn't told Rae that yet and she hoped she wouldn't be upset when she did.

"What if they say I can't stay until then?"

"Let's not worry about that until I hear from my lawyer, ok?" Calvin nodded his head and went back to eating his lunch. Noah finished all the vegetables in his soup then picked up his bowl to drink the broth.

"Noah" Olivia said as she got up and took the bowl from him. He'd spilled broth all down the front of his shirt. She put his bowl on the table and let him finish his sandwich. In the bedroom, Olivia's cell phone vibrated on the stand next to the bed. Rae reached over and looked at the caller id. It was Trevor Langan.

"Hello" she answered sleepily.

"Hi, Olivia?"

"No. It's Rae" she corrected. "Olivia is with the kids".

"Oh hi Rae. I was just calling about Calvin Arliss. Olivia said he's staying at your house".

"Yeah, that's right".

"Well, I talked to the proper authorities in Vermont and they said it's fine that Calvin stays with you until the hearing. They should be able to get his case on the docket by February".

"Wait. What?" she asked confused.

"Um, it's been approved for Calvin to remain in your custody until the court hearing about his delinquency and placement" he explained again. "That is what you and Olivia wanted isn't it?" he asked.

"When did you talk to Olivia about this?" Rae asked, not answering his question.

"She called yesterday afternoon" he said nonchalantly. "Oh, also while I have you on the phone" he moved on, "it looks like we'll be able to get in to see the judge soon about your adopting Noah. We got lucky and pulled Judge Linden again. Since she's already familiar with you and your relationship with Noah from Olivia's files I'm confident that the process should go smoothly once we meet with her".

"That's great".

"I'll call again when I have the date".

"Ok. Thanks for calling" she said nicely.

"No problem. Happy holidays".

"Same to you". They said goodbye and she hung up the phone, set it back on the night stand, and turned over to go back to sleep. She tried for ten minutes but couldn't get her conversation with Langan out of her mind. Olivia had talked to him yesterday about keeping Calvin and hadn't said a word about it to her. She was pissed off. She'd completely forced her hand on this situation with Calvin and had broken the promise they made to each other to talk about everything. Now that had a second child in their care and he would be with them for at least the next two months. She laid there and angrily stared at the ceiling then finally got up and went out to the living room.

"Hey babe" Olivia said when she saw her come out of the bedroom. "We saved you some lunch. Do you wanna eat now?"

"No" Rae said curtly. She went over to the kitchen and got a roll of paper towels then went over to the living room table to clean up the mess Noah had made with his paint. Olivia came over to help her. "I got it" she said not wanting her help. Olivia ignored and continued to help her clean up. "Olivia, I said I got it" she snapped.

"I'm just trying to help".

"Well I don't want your help" she said glaring at her. Olivia didn't know where her attitude was coming from but she just let it go and let her clean up on her own. She went over to the table and saw that Noah had finally finished his sandwich. She got him out of his chair and took him to his room to get cleaned up. She washed his face and hands and changed his t shirt. When she let him down, he went out to the living room and pulled a book down from his book shelf.

"Mama" he said going over to Rae. "Sory" he said holding up the book to her. Rae just continued to clean up the paint. "Mama" he said again this time tugging on her pants.

"Chi Noah?" she asked looking down at him. (What Noah?)

"Sory" he said again still trying to give her the book. She took the used paper towels and the roll back to the kitchen, throwing the used ones in the trash and setting the roll back on its spindle. Then she went back over to the living room, took the book from Noah and sat down on the couch. He climbed up and settled down in her lap for her to read to him. Rae started to read and Calvin came out of his room and joined them on the couch. It was a children's book but he sat and paid attention as she read, just as interested as Noah. Olivia smiled when she saw them on the couch together. As reluctant as she'd been in the beginning, Rae was a great mom just like Olivia knew she would be. Seeing her with both Noah and Calvin just made her even surer that they were meant to be a family. She just hoped Rae felt the same way.

When she finished reading the book, Noah was fast asleep. Calvin took the book from her and put it back on the shelf while she got up from the couch, careful not to wake Noah, and carried him to his room. She tucked him for his second nap of the day then pulled the door up on her way out. She went back over to the couch and sat down. She was about to turn on the tv when Calvin came over and handed her a book before sitting down next to her. She flipped the book over to see the front cover. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

"What's this?" she asked looking at him.

"It's Harry Potter" he said obviously. "I just got the whole set".

"Um. Ok" she said with a smirk. "Why are you giving it to me?" she asked confused.

"I want you to read to me".

"Really?" she asked surprised. He nodded. "Aren't you a little old to want to be read to?"

"I don't think so" he said with a shrug.

"Ok" she said with a smile. He leaned his head on her shoulder as she opened the book to the first page and started to read. Olivia came out of the bedroom to go to the kitchen for a snack. She smiled when she saw Rae and Calvin on the couch reading together. She chuckled to herself, remembering when Calvin first came to stay with them and how he had a crush on Rae. Now he was sitting on the couch with her, head on her shoulder, happy to have her read to him like he was still a little boy. She went to the kitchen and grabbed her snack then went back to the bedroom. They'd gotten through a few chapters when Noah came and climbed back up in Rae's lap. He hadn't come for the story though. He just made himself comfortable, closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

Olivia came back to the living room a while later and said they'd better start getting ready for dinner. She took Noah from Rae and Calvin took his book from her and headed to his room to get ready. Rae sat on the couch by herself for a minute too collect herself. She'd just spent the afternoon reading to her kids. Kids plural. It was strange to her that in such a short time she'd moved in with her girlfriend, gotten engaged and now had two kids. Calvin had only been with them for a day but he'd been in her life for some years now and him being with them again felt completely natural. Though she still wasn't sure about him being with them permanently she didn't have a choice now. He'd be staying with them until his hearing and probably long after. She was sure she'd come around to wanting him to stay but she wasn't there yet.

"Hey babe" Olivia said touching her shoulder. "You okay?" Rae nodded and got up from the couch.

"Fine" she said as she headed in their bedroom. She undressed and went in the bathroom to take a quick shower. Noah followed Olivia around the bedroom as she went from the closet to the dresser, picking out what she'd be wearing. When Rae came out of the shower, she took Noah to his room to wash him up so Rae could get dressed. When Rae was done getting dressed, she took over for Olivia so she could shower and put her clothes on. She got Noah dressed then let him go out to the living room. She heard knocking and then Noah's voice.

"Calin" he said mispronouncing Calvin's name. "Calin, open" he said as he continued to knock on the door. "Calin open door". Calvin finally opened the door and let Noah in. Rae went back in the bedroom with Olivia to finish getting ready.

"So when do you want to tell everyone?" Olivia asked as she put her earrings on. Rae shrugged her shoulders. She went in the closet and got her shoes then came out and sat on the bed to put them on. "Before dinner? During? After?" she asked.

"I don't care, Olivia. Tell them whenever you want". She zipped her boots then went over to the dresser to pick out her jewelry.

"What's wrong with you?" Olivia asked confused. "Why do you have an attitude with me?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now". She clasped her necklace then went over and picked up her purse. "Let's just go to dinner".

"Wait a minute" Olivia said stopping her from leaving the bedroom. "I just want to know what's wrong".

"Trevor Langan called earlier. You asked him to arrange for Calvin to be able to stay here until his hearing without talking to me about it" she said angrily. "That's what's wrong". Olivia sighed.

"Araeyah…"

"I don't want to talk about it right now" she said again. She turned and walked out of the bedroom. "Calvin, Noah" she called for them as she put her coat on, "It's time to go". Calvin came out of room and got his coat. "Where's Noah?" Rae asked when she didn't see him follow Calvin out of the bedroom. Calvin went back to his room to get him.

"Aw come on Noah" Calvin whined. "You erased it". Rae heard Noah laugh. "It's not funny" he said annoyed. "Come on". A moment later, Calvin came back out of his bedroom pulling Noah by the hand along with him. Rae got Noah's coat, hat and gloves from the closet and got him bundled up then she, Noah and Calvin waited at the front door.

"Olivia" she yelled after a couple minutes of waiting. "Come on. We're gonna be late". Olivia finally came out of the bedroom and got her coat from the closet. Once she'd put it on and fastened the buttons, they left the apartment to go to Rae's mother's house.


	6. Chapter 6: Compromises

Chapter 6: Compromises

When they arrived for dinner, Fin and Amanda were already there. Rae hadn't seen Amanda's truck outside so she assumed that she'd come with Fin. Everyone arrived, a few at a time, and settled down in the living room to relax before dinner. Rae went to the kitchen to help her mother finish cooking.

"You didn't tell me Calvin was coming for Christmas" Soraya said moving around her daughter in the kitchen.

"I didn't know he was coming". Soraya looked over her when she noticed her tone of voice.

"Araeyah, what's wrong?"

"Nothing" she lied. She knew Soraya knew better. "I don't want to talk about it" she said amending her answer.

"Why is Calvin here?" she asked.

"His grandparents were killed in a robbery and he didn't like foster care so he ran away and took a bus here" she explained. "He wants to stay here with Olivia and me".

"You don't want that" she said more than asked.

"I do…..and I….don't. I….I'm conflicted" she said honestly. "I love Calvin but I'm still not sure that I want to keep him. The truth is that he's been Olivia's son for a long time. He just didn't live with us. It was devastating for her when she lost him and now he's back and I think….I think she feels like she's getting a second chance to fight for him. How can I say that I don't want to?"

"You have to" Soraya said taking her daughter's hand. "If you're not honest with her now, you'll just grow angry with yourself. And with her". She gave her hand a squeeze before letting go. "Come" she said softly, "dinner is ready now". They set everything on the island and called everyone over to get their plates and eat. Before Olivia could get a plate, Rae took her by the hand and pulled her over to Noah's play room, shutting the door once they were inside. Olivia was confused about what she was doing but didn't get a chance to question. Rae pulled her close and brought their lips together. Olivia was still confused but let her confusion go enjoy the moment with her fiancé. Rae finally ended their kiss when the need for air become overwhelming.

"I'm mad at you" she said quietly.

"I know".

"But I don't want to be angry tonight" she continued. "I don't want to be in a bad mood through dinner. I don't want people staring at us wondering why we're not getting along. I'm not saying I want us to pretend like everything is perfect because it's not. We're not. But I want us to act like we're happy because we are. Even if we're not right now. We are".

"Yes, we are" Olivia said softly.

"We should tell everyone now" Rae said answering her question from earlier. "During dinner". Olivia nodded. "I love you".

"I love you too". They shared another kiss before going back out to the dining room where everyone was waiting for them. Everyone had gotten their food and taken their seats but nobody had started eating yet. Rae and Olivia made their plates then joined everyone at the table.

"Everything alright" Fin asked as they sat down. Rae looked at Olivia and smiled.

"Yeah" Olivia said with a nod. Carisi offered and then poured both her and Rae a glass of wine after they accepted his offer. "Actually, it's more than alright" she continued. She looked to Rae who gave a confident nod of approval. "It's more than alright because Rae and I are getting married".

"Get out of here" Sonny said in surprise. Rae lifted her hand and showed off her ring. They were showered with smiles and congratulations. Carisi lifted his glass, "To the happy couple" he said toasting to them. They repeated the phrase and hoisted their glasses before taking a drink in their honor.

"So when's the wedding?" Fin asked.

"We haven't picked a date yet" Rae said setting her glass down on the table.

"And apparently all the trendy dates are gone" Olivia said still teasing her.

"Trendy dates?" Amanda asked repeating the same question Olivia had when Rae first said that to her. Rae laughed.

"Yeah, the triple digits with day, month, and year the same number".

"I have a cousin who did that" Carisi said knowing what she was referring to. "She got married on November eleventh two thousand eleven. You know because of the whole "eleven eleven make a wish" thing. She thought it would bring them good luck".

"Did it work?" Rae asked.

"No" he said curtly. "They got divorced a year ago".

"Oh" she said feeling awkward that she asked.

"Well that's not gonna happen with you two right?" Calvin asked looking to Olivia.

"No, of course not" she said confidently.

"Olivia thought we should get married today" Rae said picking up her wine glass and taking a drink.

"A Christmas wedding?" Melinda asked. They both nodded.

"Nah that would suck" Carisi said. "Then you'd have share your anniversary with the holiday and be bothered with people instead of taking a nice vacation".

"See" Rae said looking at Olivia. "That's exactly what I said".

"Ok. Point taken" Olivia said. "So what would be better? Maybe we can do a beach wedding in the spring or early summer" she suggested.

"No" Rae said with a frown. "Sand flying around, getting in our eyes and hair. And what if a bird craps on one of us?" Everyone laughed at the thought.

"Well, I'm obviously not gonna be of any help planning this wedding" Olivia said. She was thinking about not making any more suggestions. Rae didn't seem to like any of them.

"Oh babe, don't say that" Rae said patting her on the thigh. "You'll be a lot of help. We both will".

"You can decide on a date later together" Soraya said speaking up. "What about colors for your dresses and the bridesmaids and grooms…." She stopped before finishing the word, "bridesmen" she said changing it to suit them.

"Are you both gonna wear dresses?" Jimmy asked.

"Can I be in the wedding?" Calvin asked.

"Umm, we haven't talked about colors. I think we'll both wear dresses" she looking to Olivia who nodded her agreement, "and of course you can be in the wedding" she said answering Calvin. He smiled happily then asked if he could get more food. Olivia nodded and he got up from the table to go back for seconds. They continued eating dinner and talking about the wedding. Everyone had their suggestions for dates, locations, colors, food. Once they'd all had their fill, they cleared the table and moved to the living room. Jimmy started a fire in the fireplace and Soraya brought over hot chocolate and marshmallows. They sat around the fire and talked about what they'd gotten for Christmas.

"I got a custom skateboard, a laptop and a pocket dj and scratchboard to make music" Calvin said happily. "Noah erased the first track I made" he said with a frown.

"He's very sorry" Rae said apologizing for Noah. Noah was sitting in her lap eating a marshmallow, not at all paying attention to their conversation.

"I have presents for Noah" Soraya said getting up from her seat. "You too Calvin".

"Oh mom, I hope you didn't get a lot of stuff" Rae said. Soraya didn't say anything. She just went into Noah's playroom and came back with a big bag and a stack of gift wrapped boxes. She sat them down then went back to the room again. Fin and Sonny got up to help when they saw her pushing two big boxes. "Mom" Rae whined.

"Oh hush Araeyah" she said shushing her. "It's my job to spoil them". Rae let Noah down from her lap and he went over to where Soraya had set down their presents. She set his in front of him and gave Calvin his and they started to open them. She'd gotten them both clothes and age appropriate toys.

"Noah, that's not the toy" Amanda said as they watched him play with the wrapping paper instead of the toys. Everyone laughed when he grabbed the paper back from her when she took it from him to throw away. Olivia got up and picked him up, taking him over to the big box that had his name on it. He started to rip the paper off and didn't get it all off before he forgot about the box and started to play with the wrapping paper again. Olivia ripped the rest of the paper off for him. Calvin came over and ripped the paper off of his own box.

"Sweet" he said when he saw what it was. "BMX. This is so cool. Thank you" he said hugging Soraya.

"You're welcome".

"Look Noah" Olivia said taking the wrapping paper from him and pointing to his box.

"Mom, you got him a bike?" Rae asked seeing what the big box was. She nodded. "He's not big enough to ride that".

"He will be soon".

"Well, he's gonna have to give some of his toys and clothes away" she said setting her cup on the table.

"Why?" Soraya asked disappointed.

"Because he has too many, mom. He doesn't play with half the toys he already has and he's grown out of a lot of his clothes already" she said putting his new clothes back in the bag.

"My mom used to do that" Sonny said, "For every new toy we got, we had to give one away. She said it builds character. My sisters hated it. They cried big tears when they had to give their favorite Barbies away" he said with a laugh.

"Well we agree with your mother" Rae said. "We don't want Noah growing up thinking that having a lot of stuff is important".

"So you're just gonna throw them out?" Cragen asked. He and Ilene were finally in town to come to a dinner they'd invited them to.

"He donates them" Olivia said, "to kids in foster care or to community centers that do clothing drives and give gifts out to kids whose parents can't afford to buy presents".

"That's nice" Melinda said with a smile. "I should do that with mine. The kid has so much stuff her closet is overflowing" she said getting laughs from everyone.

"Those are gonna have to stay here" Rae said pointing to the bikes. "They can't fit in the car".

"Why don't you just leave them here?" Soraya asked. "Save you space at the apartment".

"There's bike lockers downstairs" she said with a shrug. "We can rent one".

"You can use my truck to move them" Amanda said volunteering her services. "I can come by tomorrow".

"Thanks" Rae said with a smile.

"Aw. Come on" Calvin yelled.

"You suck" Jimmy said laughing. He took the handheld game from Calvin and started to play. "Damn it" he said under his breath. Calvin laughed.

"Who sucks now?" he asked smugly before snatching the game back from him. "Douchebag".

"Calvin" Rae said in a scolding tone.

"Sorry" he said quietly. Jimmy snickered and Rae took a couch pillow and threw it at him.

"Uh, yeah. Watch your mouth" he said scolding him.

"Yeah, nice save" she said sarcastically.

"Doubag" Noah said repeating after Calvin.

"Oh great" Rae said shaking her head.

"Noah, don't say that" Olivia said sitting down next to him. "That's a bad word". Everyone held in their laughter at him repeating after Calvin. They enjoyed more hot chocolate and conversation. It was nearing eleven o'clock when everyone decided to call it a night. Jimmy put out the fire in the fireplace and everyone helped clean up. They all said good night to Soraya and Jimmy and headed out of the house together.

"So I'll call you in the morning?" Rae asked looking at Amanda.

"Yeah" she said with a nod. "Not too early though". She opened the door and got in the passenger seat of Fin's car.

"Night Fin".

"See ya Rae". He got in his car with Amanda and they pulled out of the driveway and headed out. Rae got in the car with Olivia and the kids and they headed home. Rae gave Noah a bath and put on his pajamas then Olivia let him pick a book for her to read to him. Calvin showered and got ready for bed then Rae went in his room and read a few more chapters of Harry Potter with him before saying good night and heading into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Olivia had already showered and was sitting in bed reading. She undressed and went in the bathroom to shower. She washed, brushed, and blow dried her hair before coming out the bathroom, putting on a t shirt and underwear and joining Olivia in bed.

"I'm sorry" Olivia said putting her book down. "I should've talked to you before I asked Langan to arrange for Calvin to be able to stay with us. I just….I thought it would take longer and that I'd have time to talk to you".

"Every decision" Rae said looking at her, "We agreed to make every decision together. We promised each other".

"I know we did. I didn't mean to….I thought I'd have more time" she said again.

"I know you want to keep him Olivia but….I just don't know that it's the best thing for us right now" she said honestly. "We have some things to work through".

"Things? What things?" she asked.

"Me and Amanda" she said simply.

"What about you and Amanda?"

"You thinking that I'm still in love with her, asking me to give the key back….."

"I said you can keep the key".

"It's not even about the key. You don't trust me".

"I trust you" Olivia argued.

"No, Liv. You don't" she said back. "If you did then you wouldn't ask me to give her the key back" Olivia started to argue but Rae continued talking. "You don't even like that I talk to her. You're being the same way about Amanda that you were about Ashley when we first started dating. I don't get it. I've never done anything to make you feel like you couldn't trust me".

"You flirted with her" Olivia said angrily. "We were still together and you were flirting with her in the squad room for everyone to see".

"We've talked about that. She was new. I was being friendly".

"Yeah, and you flirt with everyone" Olivia said rolling her eyes. Rae sighed.

"Ok" she said with a shrug, "I flirted with her" she conceded. "I've already admitted that and apologized for it. And you cheated on me. You admitted it and you apologized and we agreed to move past it. And I have. But for some reason you can't do the same thing with me and Amanda".

"You said you didn't want me talking to David. Why can't I feel the same way about you talking to Amanda?" Olivia asked.

"Because I didn't cheat on you with Amanda" Rae said raising her voice. "Amanda and I are not the same as you and David and you know it".

"Ok" Olivia said with a sigh. "It's not the same but….you loved her and you were happier with her than you were with me. I just…."

"Why would you think that I was happier with her? I've never said that".

"I know you've never said it but your own brother thought you would marry her. He never thought that about you and me".

"Olivia, listen to me" Rae said turning to face her, "I wasn't happier with Amanda. I was happy with her for different reasons than when I was with you, but I wasn't happier. I've never been happier with anyone as much as I am with you now. I love you. I'm not interested in Amanda".

"I love you too" Olivia said softly. "And….you're right. It's time I got over you flirting with her. You should keep the key". Rae shook her head.

"No. I should give it back" she said. "We agreed to compromise. Amanda and I are friends. We're gonna stay friends. And I'm going to return her key. Deal?" Olivia smiled.

"Deal" she said with a nod.

"I want us to slow things down" Rae said abruptly.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to get married until after Noah's adoption is final". She was nervous about what Olivia would think about that.

"Why?"

"Because dealing with the adoption is stressful enough. Adding planning a wedding and Calvin, it's just too much".

"So the wedding and Calvin?"

"The wedding to start with. We're always rushing things. We can't ever just enjoy where we are and what we have. You always want to move on to the next thing right away".

"Because I want us to do everything we want to do and then enjoy it forever".

"Well, I can't do that" Rae said leaning back against the headboard. "I need to be able to breathe".

"We don't know how long Noah's adoption will take" Olivia pointed out.

"Trevor said we'll be getting in to see the judge soon and that it should go smoothly since we got Judge Linden again" she said filling her in on what Langan had said. "It won't take as long as yours did since she already knows us".

"Ok. We'll hold off on the wedding until after Noah's adoption" Olivia agreed. "And Calvin stays with us?" she asked.

"Oh come on, Liv. That's not a fair compromise".

"Why not? We wait on the wedding…."

"While we work on Noah and Calvin's adoptions?"

"Yes".

"The only problem with that is I never agreed to keep Calvin".

"You said you wanted him" Olivia said. She was frustrated that Rae was being difficult about Calvin staying with them.

"Wanting him and being ready to keep him are two completely different things" Rae argued.

"We're ready. Of course we're ready" Olivia said confidently. "You can't say that after the day we had with him and Noah that you don't think we can do this".

"I just wish you would've given me the chance to decide that on my own" she said annoyed.

"You can decide…."

"No, I can't" she said raising her voice again. "Langan already said he could stay. What choice do I have now?"

"Calvin doesn't know yet" Olivia reminded her, "you can still say no".

"I can't say no without lying and saying that the judge won't allow him to stay with us or telling the truth and saying that I don't want him to stay with us. Either way, I'm the bad guy and he's gonna hate me".

"He's not going to hate you" Olivia argued, "He would never hate you".

"Well, he won't like me. This time it'll be my fault that you two are separated".

"I'm sorry" Olivia apologized again. "I didn't mean to put you in a bad spot. I just….Calvin belongs with us. He's always belonged with us. And I know we can do this".

"Ok. He can stay" she agreed. "But that does not mean we are adopting him" she said firmly. Olivia smiled then leaned in and kissed her firmly on the lips. "You're so lucky that I love you" Rae said softly.

"Yes I am" Olivia said back still smiling. She kissed her again before leaning over turning off her bedside lamp. Rae did the same and they settled down to go to sleep. They had no idea that Calvin had been sitting outside their bedroom door listening to the last part of their conversation. He tiptoed back to his room and shut the door then got his bags from the closet and started to pack his things. He wanted to stay with Olivia and Rae more than anything but they didn't want him. Even though Rae had said he could stay, she didn't want him to stay forever. So he figured he might as well leave now and make things easier for everyone. Olivia was right. He shouldn't have run away. He should have called her first and she would've helped him. Maybe if he had done it that way, Rae would feel differently about him being there now. He didn't want to make more problems for them so the best thing for him to do was to leave. He finished packing his bags then opened his bedroom door and quietly closed it behind him. Then he unlocked the front door, opened it and quietly slipped out of the apartment.


	7. Chapter 7: Finding Calvin

**AN: Hey all! I'm so sorry. It's been forever since I updated. I left my flashdrive at home when I came back to school from winter break and all my stories are on it. I had to wait for my sister to find it and mail it to me. But I'm back in business now so here's an update. As always, please leave your comments and suggestions. I appreciate all your feedback so much. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 7: Finding Calvin

The next morning, Olivia woke up before everyone else. She showered and changed her clothes then gathered hers and Rae's dirty laundry and headed down to the laundry room. She put their clothes in the washer then headed back upstairs to start on breakfast. She took out the eggs from the refrigerator, took out the bread and got a bowl from the cabinet. Olivia put a skillet on, cracked and mixed the eggs, and dipped two slices of bread. She sprinkled cinnamon on one side before placing them in the skillet and then sprinkled cinnamon on the other side. Noah shuffled out of his room into the kitchen. Olivia picked him up and kissed him on the cheek before telling him good morning. She let him down so she could get back to cooking. She flipped the toast in the skillet while Noah went over to his toy box. He took out his favorite toy of the moment, his drums, and started to play. Olivia turned the heat down and went over to where Noah was playing.

"Noah, let's pick a quieter toy my love" she said taking the drums. "You're gonna wake your mama".

"Too late" Rae said walking into the living room. She'd woken up when she heard the sound of Noah banging on his drums.

"Sorry" she said with a light laugh.

"It's ok" she said with a yawn. Olivia walked over and kissed her good morning before going to the kitchen to finish breakfast.

"Calin" Noah said knocking on Calvin's door. "Calin open".

"Noah". Rae went over and took his hand, taking him away from Calvin's door. "Calvin's sleeping".

"Wake Calin up" he said pointing to his room.

"No" she said with a laugh. "Let Calin sleep" she said mocking how he mispronounced his name.

"Hey babe, I started some laundry" Olivia said from the kitchen, "Can you go down and check on it".

"Yeah" she said with a nod. "You wanna come with me?" she asked Noah. "Let's go". She picked him up and headed out of the apartment down to the laundry room. Olivia had left their laundry baskets in front of the washers she'd put their clothes in. She let Noah help her transfer the clothes from the washers to the dryers then push the buttons to start the machines. She left the laundry baskets again and picked Noah up and went back upstairs. She took Noah to the bathroom and got him washed up for breakfast then came to the kitchen and put him in his chair just as Olivia was putting breakfast on the table. "Should we wake Calvin or let him sleep in?"

"Wake him" she said, "he can go back to sleep after breakfast". Rae nodded and went over to Calvin's bedroom door.

"Calvin" she called knocking lightly on the door. She got no answer so she knocked a little harder. "Calvin" she called again through the door. She still got no answer so she opened the door and stuck her head in. Calvin wasn't there. The bed was made with the extra blankets and pillows he'd taken from the closet folded neatly on top. She went in the room and checked the closet and drawers. All of Calvin's things were gone. "Liv" she called out for her fiancé. "Olivia" she yelled.

"Yeah" Olivia said from in the dining room. Rae walked out of the room and stood there. Olivia looked over at her. "What babe?"

"He's gone" she said softly. "Calvin's….he's gone" she said again.

"What?" Olivia walked quickly over to the bedroom.

"He's gone" she said again. She turned and stood in the doorway as Olivia checked Calvin's drawers. "He took all of his things. Why would he take all…." She stopped midsentence as her chest started to tighten up. Olivia turned around and saw her clutching her chest.

"Araeyah, it's okay" she said going over and standing in front of her. "Breathe babe". She took her by the hand and led her over to the couch. "Breathe". Rae concentrated on getting her breath back.

"Why would he….why would he take….all of his things?" she asked. "Why would he just leave?"

"I don't know. But I'm gonna get him back" she said surely. "I'm gonna find him".

"How?" she asked worriedly. "How will you find him? He could be anywhere".

"He's a kid traveling by himself. He has no money. He won't get far. Wherever he is, he'll stand out. I'll find him" she repeated. "Hey" she said putting her hands on either side of her face. "I promise you, I'm going to find him. I'm gonna bring him home. Ok?"

"Ok" she said with a nod. Olivia gave her a kiss then got up from the couch and went in their bedroom to change. She put on jeans, a long sleeved shirt and jacket and her sneakers. She called Fin, Amanda and Sonny and asked for their help. They all had the day off but didn't hesitate to volunteer their time.

"You stay here with Noah. I'm gonna go to the precinct and work from there. I'll call you as soon as I find out anything. I love you".

"I love you too". She kissed Rae and Noah goodbye then left the apartment to go search for their son. Rae tried to be normal for Noah's sake and sat down to breakfast with him. Noah ate his french toast while Rae just sat quietly at the table with him. When he was finished, she got him down and washed his hands then sat on the couch while he played with his toys. She couldn't stop thinking about Calvin. They didn't know how long he'd been gone before she went into his room. She thought back to when Jimmy used to run away and she'd be out in the streets looking for him by herself. Calvin wasn't on drugs like Jimmy had been but she wasn't sure that was a good thing at the moment. Jimmy being an addict made him easier to find. She just went to all his drug hangouts and could always find him within just a few hours. But Calvin didn't have any connections in New York besides her and Olivia. He could be anywhere. She was just so grateful that she had Olivia now and she didn't have to go through this alone.

Hours passed and she had no word from Olivia about Calvin. She read Noah a story then put him down for his nap. She went into the kitchen and made herself some hot tea. She wasn't really a fan of Olivia's flavors but she needed to do something to calm her nerves and she was against smoking. She finished her cup of tea and checked her phone. Still nothing from Olivia. She went in her room, laid down and tried to relax. After laying there for a few minutes, Noah came into her room. He climbed up on the bed and got under the covers, cuddling with her. He went right back to sleep. She looked at his sweet face and couldn't help but smile. She stroked his hair and gave him a soft kiss on his nose. With him there with her, she was able to close her eyes and go to sleep.

She was woken up forty five minutes later by her phone ringing. Noah started to whine when she got up so she quickly scooped him into her arms and went to answer her phone. It was Olivia but she was just calling to check on her and Noah. They hadn't found Calvin yet but they were checking bus and train stations and the airport with his photo. She was confident that he'd turn up. Rae asked how they'd find him if he didn't take a bus or train or try to sneak on a plane. What if he'd hitchhiked his way back to Vermont or wherever he was going? Olivia didn't even want to consider that possibility but she didn't say that to Araeyah. She just told her not worry. They would find him. They got off the phone and Rae went to put Noah back in his bed. He only stayed in a bed for a short time before coming in the living room and joining her on the couch. He sat with her in the quiet apartment for a few minutes before getting down and going over to the guest room. He knocked on the door and called for Calvin. Rae got up and went to get him.

"Calvin's not here Noah" she said picking him up.

"Where Calin?" he asked.

"He'll be back later" she said unsure of herself. "Let's get you some lunch bear". She took him over to the kitchen and opened the fridge to decide what to make for lunch. But she didn't feel like cooking so she took Noah and put him on some clothes and shoes then went in her room to get dressed. She got both of their coats from the closet, put on her own then put Noah's on him. They left the apartment and went to the café where Rae got free food. She ordered food for herself, Noah, Olivia and the team and took it all to go then headed to the precinct. She took Noah and the bag of food inside and up to the squad room. They were there sitting at the media room table when she walked in. Fin saw her first and went over to take the bag from her so she could have both arms to hold Noah.

"Hey" Olivia said as she walked over. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought lunch" she said nonchalantly. "I couldn't sit at home anymore. I was going nuts" she admitted. She sat down at the table with Noah in her lap and took his food out for him to eat. Everyone grabbed their own food and started to eat while simultaneously making phone calls to hospitals to make sure no unclaimed kids fitting Calvin's description had been brought in. Everyone ate their lunch except for Rae, which everyone noticed but only Olivia spoke up. She just said she wasn't hungry.

"You have to eat something babe" Olivia said taking a sandwich from the bag and sitting it in front of her.

"I'm fine" she said pushing the sandwich away. "My stomach…isn't right. I'll have it later". Amanda's phone started to ring and she quickly answered.

"Rollins" she said into the speaker. She listened for a moment then reached over and touched Rae's arm before she spoke again. "You're sure it's him. Yeah, keep an eye on him. Stop him if he tries to leave". She hung up and everyone started to move at once. "Security spotted him at port authority". They all put on their jackets and headed out of the precinct. Rae took a deep breath and hoped that he didn't try to take off again before they got to him. She just sat there with Noah while he finished his lunch. She continued to sit quietly with Noah who was getting restless once his lunch was gone. She threw all the trash away and grabbed her unopened lunch, putting it back in the bag she'd brought it in, then went into Olivia's office. She let Noah down and he wandered around her office, climbing up and down from the couch to her desk chair and back again. Rae grabbed a pen and a blank sheet of paper and gave it to Noah for him to scribble on. She sat down on the couch and waited impatiently for Olivia to come back.

After another thirty minutes of waiting, she finally saw Amanda and Fin walk back into the squad room followed by Sonny then Olivia and Calvin. She got up and walked out of the office over to Calvin and wrapped him in a hug. Noah put his pen down, got up from the floor and followed her out of the office. He got a big smile on his face when he saw Calvin there.

"Calin" he said happily. "Hi Calin" he said walking over and hugging his legs. Calvin let go of Rae and kneeled down to hug Noah.

"Hi Noah" he said with a smile. He stood up and Noah continued to cling to Calvin's legs.

"Are you okay?" Rae asked. He nodded. "You are so grounded" she said firmly. "Come on. Let's go home". Calvin picked Noah up and started towards the elevator. Rae thanked Amanda, Fin and Sonny for coming in on their day off to help them find Calvin before following the kids out of the squad room. Olivia reiterated her thanks then told them to get out and enjoy the rest of their day off. They walked out of the squad room and took the elevator down together. Rae was waiting in the car with Calvin and Noah while Olivia and the rest of the SVU squad parted ways. They all said to call if she needed anything but Olivia assured them there'd be no more incidents. She thanked them one last time then went over and got in the car with Rae and the kids. They drove home and went upstairs. Calvin went right to his room and shut the door. Noah had fallen asleep in the car so Olivia carried him to his room, took off his coat and shoes and put him in bed.

Rae sat in their room on the bed unsure of what to do about Calvin. She'd dealt with running away before but that was different. That was with Jimmy. She knew him. She knew all the reasons for him getting into trouble and acting out. Calvin was a mystery to her. He hadn't been with her and Olivia for years. Olivia came into their room and sat down next to her on the bed. She reached over and took her hand.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked pulling her from her thoughts.

"I just don't get it. He ran away to come here and live with us and then he just takes off. Why would he do that?" she asked confused.

"I don't know" Olivia answered honestly. "We're gonna have to talk to him to find that out". She nodded her head but made no effort to get up. "You want me to go talk to him alone?" Olivia asked. She nodded again. "Ok". Olivia kissed her softly on the cheek then got up from the bed, holding on to her hand until distance forced her to let go. She went to Calvin's room and knocked on the door then went inside, shutting the door behind her. Calvin was unpacking his things. She sat down on his bed and told him to come sit and talk with her. He put his suitcase in the closet then went over and took a seat next to her on the bed. Olivia told him how upset she was that he ran away and how worried they were about him when they didn't know where he was. He apologized for taking off but explained that he didn't want to be in the way. Olivia was confused about what he meant. He explained to her what he'd heard and why he left. Olivia felt horrible that he'd overheard their conversation about him. She'd have to tell Rae about it and she knew that she wouldn't take it well.

"You can talk to us about anything Calvin" she assured him. "We won't get upset. You won't get in trouble".

"I just didn't want to upset Rae anymore" he said.

"She's not upset" Olivia said quickly.

"She's mad that I just showed up".

"She's upset that you ran away from Vermont and from us because it's dangerous" she explained. "Anything could have happened to you. But Araeyah and I both love you and we're happy that you're here".

"I heard her say that she doesn't want me".

"That's….that's not what she said" she argued.

"Whatever" he said with a shrug. "I guess it doesn't matter now. I won't run away again. I promise". Olivia sighed.

"Ok. You finish unpacking and we'll order something for dinner". She got up, left his room, and went back to her bedroom. She sat down on the bed next to Rae who'd been waiting patiently for her to come back.

"Well….what'd he say?" she asked softly.

"He heard us talking last night about him staying here" she said honestly.

"Oh my god" Rae said putting her head in her hands.

"He said he didn't want to be a problem for us; that you didn't want him so….so he left".

"Oh my god" she said again, shaking her head from side to side.

"Babe" Olivia said rubbing her back, "this isn't your fault. I told Calvin that he misunderstood what he heard. He knows how much you love him". Rae sighed and rubbed her face before getting up and heading to Calvin's room to talk to him. She knocked on the door and tried to open it but it was locked.

"Calvin can you open the door please?" she called through the door. He didn't say anything. "Calvin" she called through the door again, "open the door".

"I don't want to talk to you" he said from inside his room.

"I understand that but you have to so open the door".

"No" he said curtly. "I don't want to talk to you. Go away".

"Calvin, I know you're mad at me and that's ok but this is my house and while you're living here you will do what I say. Open this door now" she said firmly. There was a moment of quiet before she heard the lock turn and the door opened. She took a deep breath before going in the room and sitting on the bed next to him. "I'm sorry that what you heard last night hurt your feelings" she said starting to explain things to him.

"You mean when you said you didn't want me?" he asked snidely.

"I never said that I don't want you, Calvin" she corrected. "I absolutely want you".

"But you don't want me to stay here with you and Olivia and Noah". Rae sighed.

"It's not that I don't want you to stay here with us. Nothing that I feel is about you. When Olivia first brought Noah home, I had doubts about him too. And it had nothing to do with him. He was beautiful and good and perfect….just like you" she said with a soft smile. "I just worry sometimes that I….that I won't do things right or that I won't be a good enough mom. Worrying about one child is hard enough but worrying about two is….it's really overwhelming and it's all just happening so fast. It's not about not wanting you or not wanting you to stay with us. I do want that very much. I just doubt myself someti…a lot of the time".

"Well you shouldn't" Calvin said softly. "You're a really good mom. You always were". Rae smiled and nodded her head.

"Yeah" she said with a soft laugh. "I'm glad you think so. I just have my moments of trouble believing that myself. I'm sure one day my moments of trouble will go away".

"I'm sorry I ran away" he said, "that I made you worry. I won't do it again".

"Good" she said pleased. "But you're still grounded" she added. "Everything you got for Christmas is off limits until school starts". She pat him on the thigh then got up from his bed.

"But that's like…almost three weeks" he whined.

"Yes" she said with a nod.

"Fine" he groaned. He got up from his bed and gathered everything he got for Christmas and put it in the boxes they came from. He picked up the boxes and walked over to her. He stood in front of her with the boxes in his hands for a minute before reluctantly handing them over to her.

"Thank you" she said taking the boxes from him.

"What am I supposed to do for the rest of winter break?" he asked.

"You have the entire Harry Potter collection, right?" She didn't wait for him to answer. He got the message. She left his room with the boxes and took them to her and Olivia's room and put them in their closet.

"How'd it go?" Olivia asked nervously.

"Fine" she said simply.

"What's in the boxes?" she asked.

"Calvin's Christmas presents".

"You took back his Christmas presents?"

"Um hum" she mumbled. "He's grounded".

"For how long?"

"Until school starts".

"Hum".

"What?"

"Nothing" Olivia said with a shrug. "Just very…..mom like" she said with a smirk. She walked over and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "I like it".

"Yeah?"

"Yeah". She kissed her again. "I love you".

"I love you back".


	8. Chapter 8: Araeyah and Amanda Rollins?

Chapter 8: Araeyah and Amanda Rollins?

The next day Olivia went back to work and it was just Rae and the kids at home. Calvin was being increasingly obnoxious and Noah was starting to copy him. Rae finally told him that if he didn't knock it off she would extend his punishment. He found something to occupy his time, Noah played with his toys, and Rae started reading for her classes. They spent the whole day inside, taking breaks from their individual activities to eat lunch together and watch Tarzan. Noah and Calvin kept watching tv while Rae started on dinner. She made veggie burgers and homemade french fries. She called the boys over and they made oatmeal cookies together. They waited for Olivia for a while but it was getting late so she let the boys eat. She let them have ice cream and cookies once they'd finished their dinner. They watched one more movie then it was baths and bed.

Olivia came home just after nine thirty. She looked in on Noah who was already fast asleep. She kissed him on the forehead, careful not to wake him up. She sat with him for a minute before kissing him again and leaving his room. She went to Calvin's room next. He was in bed reading his Harry Potter book. Olivia sat down and asked him about his day. He groaned and said he was bored out of his mind all day long. Olivia chuckled and reminded him that being grounded wasn't supposed to be fun. She told him he had twenty more minutes to read then it was lights out. She said good night then left him to his book.

Rae was waiting for her at the kitchen table. Olivia went in the bedroom to change her clothes and wash her hands then came and joined Rae at the table. She'd heated their dinner for them and had skipped dinner with the boys so they could eat together.

"How was your day?" Rae asked.

"Long" she said simply. "A lot of paperwork piled up over the holidays. How was your day with the boys?"

"Calvin's intentionally trying to drive me crazy" she said getting up from the table. "I think he thinks if he drives me crazy enough I'll unground him". Olivia laughed. Rae brought two glasses and two sodas over to the table. "Noah had fun copying him".

"Oh goodness" Olivia said with a sigh.

"I think you should talk to him".

"I did. I had a little talk with him".

"Good but I don't think "a little talk" is gonna be enough". She opened her soda and poured it in her glass then took a drink. "Maybe we should…get him into therapy" she suggested. "I mean his mom is….who knows where his mom is? His father is in prison, he just lost his grandparents and then spent two horrible weeks in foster care. He needs to talk to someone".

"I'll keep talking to him".

"I meant a professional" Rae said with a smirk.

"Right. I knew that". They finished their dinner and cleaned up the kitchen together. Olivia looked in on the boys before heading into her bedroom and shutting the door. She heard the shower going so she undressed and joined Rae in the shower. She wrapped her arms around her waist and kissed her neck. "I'll talk to Dr. Lindstrom about getting Calvin a consult" she whispered in her ear. Rae turned around and faced her fiancé.

"Thank you". Olivia leaned down and kissed her on the lips.

"I'm sorry" she said softly. "You're not gonna do this alone. I promise. You're not gonna do this alone". Rae wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her again. Olivia walked forward, backing Rae against the wall of the shower. She kissed down her jaw to her neck, paying attention to her favorite spot. She continued down until she was on her knees. She lifted Rae's leg, taking time to suck on her inner thigh, leaving a mark in her wake. She placed her leg onto her shoulder and kissed her lower lips. She ran her tongue along her folds then parted them and gently sucked on her bundle of nerves. Rae moaned softly as Olivia's tongue circled her clit with her tongue. She slipped her hands into her hair and let her head fall back against the wall.

"Mhmm" she moaned as Olivia lightly sucked then licked then sucked again. "Liv" she moaned. She grabbed a hold of the shower door. Since having Noah in the house, and now Calvin, Rae had become more adept at volume control. She had her loud moments but for the most part she kept it down. She moaned louder, but not too much louder, as she came in Olivia's mouth, gripping tightly onto the shower door. Olivia kissed her way back up her body until she reached her lips. "I love you".

"I love you too". They stayed in the shower a while longer before getting out and heading to their bed. Olivia was in control as usual. No matter how hard Rae tried, she wouldn't let her take control. Rae knew she was doing this because Olivia thought she was upset with her. She had been for a while but she'd gotten past it now. As long as Olivia kept her promise, she was sure things would be fine between them. The next morning, they had breakfast together then Olivia left for work and it was just Rae and the kids again. Amanda had the day off so she called Rae and asked if she still needed the truck to move the boys' bikes. She did so Amanda drove over to pick her up. Calvin asked if he and Noah could stay home instead of riding with them. Rae asked Calvin if he was responsible enough and if she could trust him enough to leave him home alone with Noah while she went to get their bikes. He assured her that he was and promised that he would take good care of Noah and there wouldn't be any trouble. She hesitated for a moment before agreeing to let them stay home. Amanda called when she was downstairs. Rae kneeled in front of Noah as he went through his toy box.

"Be a good boy for Calvin, ok?" He nodded his head and continued to look through the box for the toy he wanted. She kissed him on the head before walking over to the door where Calvin was waiting. "You be good too".

"I will be".

"And keep a close eye on him. I don't want to come home to a mess". Calvin nodded and laughed. "I'm not kidding Calvin".

"I know. I'll watch him". She ruffled his hair then headed out the door. Calvin locked the door behind her then went to help Noah pick out his toys. Rae got in the truck with Amanda and Frannie and they headed to her mother's house. Rae tried to use her key to get inside but it didn't work so she rang the bell and hoped that her mother was home. A minute later the door opened and Jimmy greeted them with a smile.

"What's with the locks?" she asked, stepping in past him. Amanda and Frannie followed her inside and Jimmy closed the door behind them.

"Mom had them changed". He walked over to the kitchen and opened a drawer, taking out a single key before walking back over to her. "Here" he said as he handed her the new key.

"Why'd she have the locks changed?".

"My dad kept coming over and he wouldn't give her the key back so she finally had the locks changed".

"Good for her" she said proudly. "What are you doing home? Shouldn't you be in class or something?"

"Today's a late day for me; all evening classes. I don't have to go until two thirty" he explained. "What are you two doing here?" he asked, wondering why she was with Amanda and not Olivia.

"Picking up the bikes mom bought for Calvin and Noah for Christmas. Where'd she put them?"

"In the toy room" he said pointing to the room where Noah spent most of his time during his visits. "So how's it going Amanda?"

"Good" she said with a shrug. "Things are good".

"You….seeing anyone new?"

"Nope. It's just me and Frannie" she said rubbing behind her dog's ears. Rae pushed one box out of the room then went back for the other. Jimmy helped them get the boxes outside and on the back of Amanda's truck. Rae thanked Jimmy for helping and told him that he should come over for dinner sometime. He said he would call her and they'd plan a day for him to come. She gave him a hug and kiss goodbye then got in the truck and headed back home. Rae went over to the landlord's office to fill out the paperwork for a new bike locker and get the keys. Once she had them, Amanda helped her get the boxes into the locker.

"You want to put them together now?" Amanda asked.

"No. I'll wait until Liv's home". She locked up the locker and they went back upstairs. Amanda was about to take Frannie and go but Rae stopped her. "You want to stay for lunch?"

"Um…"

"Calvin gets to choose what we're having so it'll probably be pizza" she said with a laugh.

"Sure" Amanda said with a shrug. They went upstairs to the apartment and Rae braced herself for what she'd see. But when she opened the door, everything was in its rightful place. She let out a sigh of relief and stepped into the apartment with Amanda and Frannie following behind her. She shut and locked the door behind them. Amanda sat down on the couch and Frannie hopped up next to her. She sniffed the cushions then started licking something up. "Frannie stop it" she said pushing her head away from the spot. "What's this on your couch?" Rae came over and looked at the couch.

"Calvin" she called out for him. He opened his bedroom door and stood in the doorway. "Where's Noah?" He opened the door wider and stepped to the side so she could see Noah sitting on his bedroom floor playing with his toys. "What's on the couch?"

"What do you mean?"

"There's something on the couch that Frannie thinks tastes good. What is it?"

"Oh hey Frannie" he said noticing the dog on the couch. "Come here girl". Frannie hopped down off the couch and went over to Calvin. Noah saw her and got up from where he was playing with his toys to play with her.

"Calvin" Rae said getting his attention. "The couch".

"Oh, Noah had an applesauce" he said nonchalantly.

"On the couch?" He nodded. "Noah does not eat anywhere in this apartment except the table, ok?"

"Ok".

"Ok. What do you want for lunch?"

"Can we order pizza?" Rae looked at Amanda and smiled. Amanda laughed to herself.

"Yes we can". She knew he'd want to order pizza because he was always asking if they could have pizza. Rae went to the kitchen for the pizza menu and grabbed the phone. Everyone said what they wanted and she called and placed the order. Rae cleaned the applesauce spill from the couch while the boys played with Frannie. Amanda sat and watched them with her dog while Rae set the table. It took half an hour for the pizza to be delivered. Rae paid for the food then brought it over to the table. "Come here Noah". She picked him up and took him to the bathroom to wash his hands then brought back to the table and put him in his chair. They all sat down at the table together and had lunch. Calvin took a piece of pepperoni off of his pizza and held it out to Frannie.

"No pizza for her" Amanda said glaring at him.

"Why?" he asked innocently. "She likes it".

"Calvin" Rae said in a stern tone.

"Fine. Sorry Frannie". They finished eating lunch then Rae washed Noah's hands again then let him down to wander the apartment. He played with Frannie in the living room with for a while before they went into his bedroom. Calvin had gone into his room right after lunch and hadn't come out since. After ten minutes, she went to check on Noah and found him and Frannie sleeping in his bed. She tucked him and pulled the door up, leaving it open just a crack. She went over to Calvin's room next and opened his door. He was lying in bed playing with Noah's leapfrog. He wasn't supposed to be playing with any toys but she figured since it was an educational toy she'd let it go. She shut his door and joined Amanda on the couch.

"Umm…I have to give you something" she said getting up from the couch again. She went to her coat and got her keys then went back to the couch. She took the key to Amanda's apartment off of her key ring and held it out to her.

"No, I said you could keep that" she said pushing the key away.

"I know but I have to give it back to you so…" Amanda stared at her for a moment, still not taking the key, "take it".

"No" she said shaking her head.

"Take it".

"No".

"Amanda…."

"I'm not taking it back".

"Well I'm not keeping it". She set the key on the table in front of her.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you giving the key back?"

"Because".

"Because….why?"

"Because I told Olivia that I would give it back to you" she said finally giving her the reason. "She doesn't want me to have a key to your apartment. She doesn't like it so….we agreed that I'd give it back to you".

"She doesn't like it?" Rae laughed softly.

"Umm" she shrugged her shoulders, "no, she doesn't".

"Why?" She shrugged her shoulders again. "You don't know? Really?"

"She thought….and maybe still thinks that I have…feelings for you".

"Well that's weird". Araeyah laughed.

"I know. I mean, I love you" she said seriously. "You know I love you. I'll always love you".

"I love you too".

"I just don't think she can separate my love for you as a friend from our relationship. And I don't know how to convince her that nothing is going on with us".

"So giving back the key is your attempt to convince her?"

"No. It's a compromise. I told her I wouldn't stop being friends with you and in exchange I agreed to give you the key back".

"She doesn't want us to be friends?" she asked surprised. Rae shook her head.

"You didn't always like that I was still friends with Olivia when we were together".

"That's because she wouldn't stop hitting on you" she said in her own defense. "She kissed you….twice. I don't hit on you and I most definitely don't kiss you". Rae laughed.

"Yeah, well, she's nothing if not persistent".

"Yes. Well, what about Frannie? Are you still gonna steal her?"

"I do not steal. I borrow" she corrected. "And yes, I would still like to take her sometimes".

"Then you should keep the key. How will you get in?"

"Frannie can let me in. She's talented that way". They both laughed at the idea of Frannie opening the door for her. Her phone rang from the kitchen table and she got up to answer it. "Hey babe" she answered seeing Olivia's name on the caller id. "Yeah, they're fine" she said as she walked back over and sat down on the couch. "Noah's taking a nap and Calvin's in his room playing on the leapfrog". Olivia laughed at him playing with an educational toy for a child Noah's age. "I don't think he cares. He's just happy I'm letting him do something other than read. Yeah. Well, Amanda's here. Yeah she helped me move the bikes today and stayed for lunch". She listened for a moment before speaking again. "Okay, we'll see you then. Love you too. Bye".

"You should keep the key".

"I want to but I can't. I told Olivia I would give it back. So I have to give it back".

"Ok". She picked the key up from the table. "So, seriously, how are you gonna get in when you want to take Frannie?"

"I don't know. I guess I'll have to be….less spontaneous about when I get her. We'll figure it out" she said confidently. "And don't worry. Liv doesn't have anything against you".

"Not professionally anyway. At least, not anymore" she joked.

"She likes you. And she cares a lot about you" she assured her, "not just professionally but personally too. She considers you a friend".

"She just doesn't trust me with you".

"I don't think she trusts anyone with me" she said with a laugh. "Honestly, I think it's more about me than you".

"Have you two picked a date yet?"

"We're not getting married…."

"What?!" she said loudly.

"Until after Noah's adoption" she finished. "And Calvin's custody hearing".

"When's that gonna be?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"Sometime next year" she said with a laugh. "Langan doesn't think the adoption should take too long since we got Judge Linden and we're trying for a hearing on Calvin's custody by February" she explained. "You wanna be in the wedding?"

"Lord no" she said quickly. Rae gasped softly.

"You don't want to be in my wedding?" she asked pretending to be offended. "Bridesmaid nightmares?" she asked with a laugh.

"It's my personal mission to never be in a wedding….ever".

"Even your own?"

"Oh, I'm not getting married" she said surely.

"Really?" Rae asked surprised. "You know Jimmy thought that we'd get married someday" she said with a smile.

"Really?" Amanda asked with a laugh.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I'm no…I'm sorry" she said stifling her laugh. Rae threw a couch pillow at her then Frannie appeared in the living room. She went over to Amanda and started to lick her hand then hopped on the couch next to her. "I need to get her home. She needs to eat" she said petting Frannie's head.

"Ok". She got up from the couch and went to look in on Noah. He was still fast asleep. She looked in on Calvin and he'd fallen asleep with Noah's game on his chest. She quietly shut the door, careful not to wake him. "I'll walk you out". She went downstairs with her and thanked her again for helping her with the bikes. She said goodbye to Frannie and told Amanda she'd call so they could work something out about the key. She waited until Amanda had disappeared in traffic to go back inside and upstairs to the apartment. She put away the leftover food from lunch and then decided to take a nap while the kids were sleeping. She turned out the lights then went in her room to sleep. She woke up an hour later to the tv blaring in the living room. She got out of bed and went to the living room. "Calvin!" she yelled.

"Huh?"

"Are you deaf?"

"No".

"Then why do you have the tv up so loud?" she asked annoyed. He reached for the remote and turned the volume down on the tv. Noah came out of Calvin's room with his leapfrog and got on the couch with Calvin. Rae went back to her room and grabbed her laptop and some of her books then joined them in the living room. It was only five thirty when the lock turned on the front door and Olivia walked into the apartment.

"Hey" Rae said surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Um, I live here" she taking off her coat and hanging it up.

"I know that. I just meant….you're home early that's all".

"It was slow today and I'm all caught up on my paperwork" she explained. "They'll call if they need me to come back. How was your day?"

"Boring" Calvin said flipping through channels. Olivia chuckled and shook her head. She picked Noah up from the couch and took his place, sitting him in her lap.

"You made dinner plans?" she asked looking to Rae. She reached over and pushed Rae's hair behind her ear. She shook her head no. "You want me to cook?" She shook her head yes. "Ok".

"Can we put our bikes together after dinner?" Calvin asked. Olivia looked to Araeyah.

"What do you think mama? Can we put our bikes together after dinner?" Rae glanced over at her out of the corner of her eye and saw the smirk on her face.

"I guess so" she said softly. Olivia leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before getting up, putting Noah back in his seat on the couch and going to the kitchen to decide on something for dinner.

"Can we get a dog?" he asked looking back and forth between them.

"How does sloppy joes sound?" Olivia asked ignoring his question.

"Good to me" Calvin said voicing his approval. "Noah, you want sloppy joes for dinner?"

"No" he said shaking his head.

"Well what do you want to eat for dinner?" He didn't answer. Just continued playing with his leapfrog. Calvin covered the screen with his hand, "Noah, what do you want to eat for dinner?" he asked again.

"Applesauce" he said pushing his hand away.

"Why do always want applesauce?"

"Why do you always want pizza?" Rae asked looking at Calvin.

"I don't always want pizza" he argued.

"Yeah, you do. You ask for pizza all the time".

"Well, pizza here is a lot better than in Vermont".

"Well maybe Noah thinks applesauce is a lot better than….everything else".

"Hello" Olivia said stopping their argument. "Sloppy joes?"

"Fine" Rae said with a shrug. She turned around and got back to studying. Calvin turned back to the tv. Olivia started cooking. They sat down to dinner and Calvin asked again about a dog. He argued that he was old enough to help take care of it and it'd fun to have one.

"Frannie can have a friend to play with when Amanda brings her over again" he said.

"I thought you and Noah were friends that she can play with" Rae joked.

"But she can talk to another dog". Rae looked at him sideways. "Ok fine. I just want a dog that we don't have share with Amanda".

"We don't share Frannie with Amanda" Rae laughed. "She's her dog".

"A dog that we don't have to steal then".

"Borrow" Rae corrected.

"Borrow" he said mockingly.

"We'll talk about it" Olivia said ending the conversation abruptly. They finished with dinner then went downstairs to the bike locker to put Calvin and Noah's bikes together. Olivia seemed a bit distant but Rae couldn't figure out why. She figured they'd talk about it later. Once they finished with the bikes, they locked them up and went back up to the apartment. Noah and Calvin had ice cream and watched tv while Rae and Olivia cleaned up the dinner dishes. The boys finished their ice cream and put their dishes in the dishwasher then went to their rooms for bed. Olivia washed Noah up, got him into pajamas and into bed for his story. When Calvin was in ready, he called Rae in to read with him.

Olivia went into the bedroom first. Noah had fallen asleep before she finished reading to him. She showered, changed her clothes then got in bed. She sat up against the headboard and read her book. Rae came in fifteen minutes later and shut the door behind herself. She put her book and laptop on the dresser then undressed and went in the bathroom to shower. She came out of the bathroom in just her towel and got pajamas from the drawer. She looked over at Olivia, who was still sitting up in bed reading. She didn't seem to pay her any mind. She took her clothes and went back to the bathroom. She came back ten minutes later, grabbed one of her books from the dresser and got into bed. She could see Olivia glancing over at her and she could swear she'd even rolled her eyes a couple of times. She kept sighing heavily and forcefully turning the pages of her book. Rae didn't know where her attitude was from but she didn't really care. There was a tension that she didn't want to deal with anymore so she put her book on the night stand and turned off her bedside lamp then laid down to go to sleep.

"We need to talk" Olivia said not looking away from her book.

"Why do you do that?" Rae asked annoyed.

"Do what?"

"You wait until I'm trying to go to sleep then decide you want to talk".

"I told Calvin we'd talk about getting a dog".

"That doesn't mean we have to talk about it right now".

"Well, I think it's a good idea" she said ignoring the fact that Rae obviously didn't want to talk about it at that moment. Rae groaned and rolled her eyes. She was really aggravated because she knew the dog wasn't what Olivia really wanted to talk about.

"Why? Because they won't need to play with Frannie anymore. Getting them their own dog isn't going to make them care any less about Frannie Mae". She was still laying with her back to Olivia which only made Olivia angrier. "Why don't you just say what your attitude is really about?"

"Ok, fine. I don't appreciate you having your ex-girlfriend and her dog in our house spending time with you and our kids" Olivia said angrily slamming her book closed before setting it on the night stand and looking at her fiancé. "Why doesn't she get her own family?" Rae turned over and glared at her.

"I cannot believe you just said that" she said irritably. Then she took a deep breath and sat up. "What are we doing?" she asked calmly.

"What are you talking about?"

"What are we doing? Why am I here? Why are we together?" Olivia didn't answer any of her questions. She just stared at her not knowing exactly what to say. "You don't trust me so what's the point?"

"I do trust you".

"No you don't" she said raising her voice. "Don't say you do because you don't".

"I do….trust you" she said hesitantly.

"Just not with Amanda, right?" she asked.

"Why is it so important for you to have a relationship with her?" Olivia asked. "Just help me understand?"

"She's my friend, Olivia. I don't understand what you can't understand about that" she said loudly. "You know, when Amanda and I were together, I told her everything. She didn't always like that I talked to you every day or that I wanted to spend time with you; that I wanted us to stay friends but she didn't question me" she said starting to explain. "She wasn't threatened by you because she trusted me to tell her everything. And I did tell her everything. She knew everything you did and everything you said. Every move you made, every line you crossed; she knew it all. She trusted me. That's what she gave me. It's what she still gives me. That's what I want from you. That's what I expect from you".

"I know that" Olivia said trying to get a word in but Rae wasn't done.

"Then what is your problem? Why are you so threatened by her? Are you afraid that she's like you?" she challenged her. "Amanda doesn't do any of the things that you did when I was with her. She doesn't flirt with me, doesn't tell me that she's still in love with me. She doesn't kiss me or try to get me to leave you for her. She's happy for me, _for us_. I'm not going to lose a friend because you can't move past your insecurities. When are you going to start thinking better of her?" she asked angrily. "When are you going to start thinking better of me?"

"I love you, you know that".

"It doesn't matter" she said with a shrug. "It doesn't matter how much you love me. If you don't trust me, this is pointless. We are pointless".

"We're not pointless" Olivia argued. "We're not".

"You know, Liv, I've never asked you for anything except to love me and respect me and trust me. Why can't you trust me?"

"I can" she answered quickly. "I do". Rae shook her head.

"I don't believe you" she said softly. She laid down and turned her back to Olivia again.

"Araeyah…."

"I'm going to sleep" she said, making it clear that she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Olivia sighed then reached over and turned off the light on her side of the bed. She laid down and stared up at the ceiling. Arguing about Rollins was becoming normal for them and she hated that. She didn't know why she didn't trust her with Rollins. Aside from flirting with her, she'd never given her any reason to doubt her faithfulness. She knew she'd have to figure it out and move on soon or she would lose Rae again and for good this time. She couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't let that happen.


	9. Chapter 9: Cold Front

Chapter 9: Cold Front

The next morning, Rae didn't say a word to Olivia until she said goodbye to her when she left for work. She finished up breakfast with the boys then asked Calvin to clean up the dishes while she went to get Noah ready for the day. When he was done in the kitchen, Calvin took his turn in the bathroom then went to get dressed. Once the boys were dressed, Rae left them to themselves and went in her room to get ready. She was just coming out of the bathroom when there was a knock on her door.

"Mama" Calvin said through the door. Rae, on her way to the closet, stopped dead in her tracks. It was the first time he'd ever called her that. He knocked again.

"Yeah?" she said finally answering him.

"Noah wants applesauce" he said loudly.

"No" she said quickly. "He just had breakfast".

"Ok". He went over and told Noah he couldn't have any applesauce and Rae finished getting dressed. She came out of her bedroom ten minutes later. She put Noah's inhaler in her bag and grabbed him an applesauce from the frig for later. Calvin packed his own snacks in his backpack and Noah's leapfrog since he didn't have his music player anymore. Rae got Noah's coat and hat on before putting on her own.

"You ready?" she asked looking to Calvin. He nodded his head. "Ok. Let's go". They left the apartment together and went downstairs to the car. Calvin got in the front seat while Rae put Noah in his seat before getting in the driver's seat. Their first stop was to the mall. Rae got a stroller for Noah so she wouldn't have to carry him if he got tired of walking. She let Calvin lead the way and pick out clothes and shoes that he wanted. He hadn't brought much with him from Vermont. When he moved from his grandparent's to the foster home, he'd lost a lot of his things. Then when he moved from the foster home to the group home, he lost even more. School was starting soon and he needed more than just a few pairs of jeans and a handful of t shirts and sweaters.

"Can I join the soccer team or basketball or something?" Calvin asked as he looked through the fitness racks.

"I'll talk to mom" she said, "We'll look into it".

"I hate starting late" he pouted.

"I know it sucks but at least it's the beginning of the semester and not the middle" she said giving him a pat on the shoulder. "Just be glad you don't have to repeat the grade" she added. They went from store to store for Calvin to look through everything and find what he liked best. She saw a couple things for Noah that she liked and even though he didn't really need it, she got it for him anyway. She and Olivia still needed to go through his stuff to figure what he'd keep and what he'd donate. With the way things were going with them at the moment she'd probably end up doing it on her own. They went to almost every store in the mall. Rae refused to go into any toy stores. They didn't need any more toys or gadgets. After the mall, they went to a restaurant for lunch. Noah was hungry so Rae gave him the applesauce she'd packed for him to eat until their food came.

"Can I get a cell phone?" Calvin asked. "I'm almost sixteen and I've never had one". The waiter came over with their food and set their plates in front of them. Rae cut Noah's burger for him and put ketchup on his plate to dip his french fries. "Well, can I?" he asked, picking up a french fry and dipping it in ketchup before eating it.

"We'll talk about it with mom tonight" she said as she cut her veggie burger. "Eat your lunch". When they finished with lunch, they went to the park. Rae sat on the bench with Calvin and Noah on the jungle gym. After a while going up and down the slide and playing on the monkey bars they went over to the swings. Calvin pushed Noah for a while then got on the swing next to him and pulled his swing alongside him. After they left the park, their next stop was the grocery store. Calvin kept putting junk in the cart and Rae kept taking it out.

"Can we get barbeque chips?" he asked holding up the bag for her to see.

"No" she said simply.

"Come on, please" he begged. "They're my favorite".

"One bag" she said agreeing to get them. He happily put the bag in the cart and they continued shopping. "Noah", she said looking down at him sitting in the cart. "What should we have for dinner?" she asked.

"Applesauce" he said enthusiastically.

"Ok" she said with a laugh. "What else?"

"Helper".

"Ok".

"What's helper?" Calvin asked confused.

"Hamburger helper" she clarified.

"Oh" he said with a nod. They got everything they needed for dinner and enough food to last them through the next month before going to the check out. Noah picked up a pack of skittles as she put their food on the conveyor belt.

"Mama" he said tugging on her shirt, "Canny". Rae ignored him and finished loading the belt. "Mama" Noah said louder this time, "canny" he said again waving the pack of skittles in her face.

"No, no canny" she said mocking him.

"Canny" he whined. The clerk had finished ringing up everything and was waiting for Rae to pay. She took the skittles from Noah and handed it to him.

"Can you add these too please?"

"Sure" he said nicely. She looked at Calvin.

"You want something too?" she asked. He smiled and then grabbed a snickers bar and handed it to her. "And this one too please" she said handing it to the clerk.

"No problem". He rang up the last item, handed it back to Calvin then told her the new total. She swiped her card and put in her pin number to pay for the groceries. Calvin started to open Noah's candy for him.

"No" she said stopping him. "After dinner". They loaded all the bags into the cart and headed out of the grocery store. Calvin helped Rae load the grocery bags into the trunk then pushed the cart over to one of the cart stalls while she got Noah into his seat. Calvin hopped in the front seat and they headed home. It was nearing five o'clock when they finally got home and Olivia was just pulling up as well. She walked over to Rae's car and opened the back door to get Noah out of his seat.

"Mommy" he said happily.

"Hello my love" she said as she unhooked his belt and took him out of his seat. She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. Calvin got out of the car and gave her a hug. "Hey bud" she said returning his hug. Rae popped the trunk to start unloading all the bags. Olivia and Calvin walked back to the trunk to help.

"Another slow day?" she asked seeing her fiancé home so early again. Olivia nodded. Rae took a couple bags in each hand and headed inside. Calvin grabbed some bags and followed behind her. Olivia put Noah down and grabbed a couple bags in each hand then headed inside behind Rae and Calvin.

"Come on Noah" she said calling for him to follow her. He hurried to catch up to her then she let him inside in front of her and they started upstairs together. They were halfway up when Rae and Calvin came back down. Rae picked Noah up and carried him the rest of the way to the apartment while Calvin continued down to get more bags. Olivia stayed in the apartment with Noah while Rae and Calvin finished unloading the car. Once they got everything up to the apartment, Calvin took his clothes into his room and put them away while Olivia and Rae put away the groceries then Olivia put Noah down for his nap while Rae started on dinner. Calvin finished putting his clothes away and came out to the living room. Olivia had joined Rae in the kitchen to help with dinner and things were really awkward between them. They moved around each other without saying a word. He sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. Once dinner was going, Rae went into the bedroom to change her clothes. Olivia turned the burner down and followed her, shutting the door behind herself. "So you're not talking to me?" she asked.

"I don't know. Are you still being an ass?"

"Araeyah, I don't think I'm asking for anything unreasonable".

"You're asking me to cut ties with one of my best friends, not because I've done anything wrong or because she's done anything wrong, but because you're insecure about us" she said angrily.

"I'm not insecure about us" she argued.

"Well you're not confident that I'm happy with you; that I won't cheat on you with Amanda" she said raising her voice. "Or is there some other reason that you don't want me talking to her?" Calvin turned the tv down so he could hear what they were talking about. They'd been doing a lot of arguing since he'd been there and he wondered if it started with him or if they argued like this all of the time. He got up from the couch and went over to the thermostat, turning it down so it'd get colder in the apartment. They yelled back and forth at each other about trust and respect. Rae finally said that she wasn't going to stop talking to Amanda so Olivia should just get over it and that if she couldn't do that, she wasn't sure what would happen to their relationship. She left their bedroom and went back to the kitchen to finish with dinner. Olivia came out of the bedroom and joined Calvin on the couch in the living room to watch tv.

"Calvin" she said getting his attention, "go get washed up for dinner". He set the remote on the table and went to the bathroom to wash his hands. Olivia turned the tv off then went to wake Noah so she could wash his hands and bring him to the table. She got him into his seat then went to wash her own hands. Rae set out their plates and cups then brought the pot of hamburger helper and bowl of applesauce to the table. Calvin put helper and applesauce on Noah's plate then his own while Rae got juice from the fridge. Olivia came back to the table as Rae poured everyone a glass of juice. They got their own food and started to eat. "Why is it so cold in here?" Rae asked noticing the temperature change.

"I turned the heat down" Calvin said nonchalantly.

"Why?"

"It's a metaphor".

"A metaphor for what?"

"The chill between the two of you" he said looking between them.

"Excuse me" Rae said glaring at him.

"I know you're fighting".

"You've been eavesdropping?" Olivia asked angrily.

"No" he said quickly, "I just heard you. You talk loud when you're mad and you weren't exactly whispering in there".

"Go turn the thermostat back to where it was" Rae said firmly. He got up from the table and went over to turn the heat back up then came back to the table. "Listen, Calvin…"

"Is it because of me?" he asked. "Did you start fighting because of me?"

"No" they both said at the same time.

"Of course not" Olivia added.

"So you always fight like this?"

"Not….always" Rae said hesitantly.

"There are just some things that we have to work out" Olivia explained.

"About Amanda?" he asked. Olivia sighed. Rae took a breath and cleared her throat.

"No" she finally answered. "It doesn't have anything to do with Amanda".

"But I heard you" he argued. "You were arguing about Amanda". Neither one of them knew what to say. "I like Amanda. She's nice and funny. And I like Frannie too. I don't want them to stop coming around".

"She's not going to stop coming around" Rae said confidently. "Our arguing is not about Amanda. I know we were arguing about her but…." She took a breath and thought about the best way to explain things to him. "Sometimes people fight about something small to avoid talking about the big things". Olivia looked at her, offended by what she was implying. "It's really got nothing to do with Amanda and it's most definitely not about you".

"Ok" he said with a shrug. He didn't completely understand what she was saying but he just accepted it and hoped they'd work things out soon. They finished dinner together and then Calvin and Noah had the candy that Rae bought for them earlier. Rae put up the leftovers and Olivia rinsed the dishes and loaded the dishwasher. Calvin and Noah sat on the couch watching a movie while they straightened up the kitchen then they both went over and joined them. They watched movies until it was time for bed. Noah had fallen asleep in Olivia's lap so she carried him into his room and tucked him into bed.

Rae went in and talked more with Calvin about her and Olivia arguing. She didn't want him to feel like their problems were his fault. She tucked him in and kissed him goodnight before getting up from his bed, turning out the light and pulling the door shut on her way out. She went in to Noah's room and kissed him goodnight before going into her bedroom and shutting the door. She took off her pants and got into bed in just her tank top and underwear.

"So" Olivia said putting her book down, "what are the big things that we're avoiding talking about?" she asked. Rae sighed and fluffed her pillow.

"I'm sorry, Liv but I had a long day with the boys and I'm really tired" she said softly. "Can we talk about this some other time?"

"Fine". Rae turned out her bedside lamp and laid down to go to sleep. Olivia picked her book up and started reading again. She read the same five lines over and over again, not to comprehend or retain what she was reading. She was so worried about what was happening between them that she couldn't focus on anything else. Things were starting to slip at work because she wasn't focused. She was able to leave early the last two days by leaving Dodds in charge. He seemed to be handling things well so she didn't worry much. She sat up for a few more minutes before setting her book on the night stand and switching off her lamp. She laid down and closed her eyes, burrowing herself into the bed to get comfortable. Just as she was drifting off to sleep, her phone rang. She reached over to the night stand and grabbed it.

"Benson" she answered, not even bothering to check the caller id. "Where?" she asked before pausing to listen. "Ok. Yeah. I'm on my way". She got up and got dressed to go. She was going to leave without waking Rae to say goodbye but she thought better of it. She kneeled down next to the bed and moved Rae's hair from in front of her face. "Rae" she whispered. "Araeyah".

"Hmmm?" she mumbled.

"Hey" she said stroking her cheek. Rae's eyes slowly fluttered open and she saw Olivia kneeling in front of her fully dressed.

"What are you doing?" she said in a raspy voice.

"Fin called" she said softly. "We got a new case and the media is all over it so….I have to go back to work". Rae leaned over and kissed her on the lips. They relaxed into to each other, enjoying the tension free moment. She parted her lips when Olivia's tongue brushed against them. Their tongues caressed each other and Olivia went from kneeling to positioning herself on top of Rae. She reached her hand down and started to push up her shirt when her phone started to ring again. She reached down and grabbed it from her pocket. She brought it up and looked at the caller id out the corner of her eye while she continued to kiss her fiancé. It stopped ringing and she turned her full attention back to Araeyah until it started to ring again. She groaned and accepted the call.

"Benson" she answered. "I'm on my way. Yeah chief, I know. I'll be there soon". She hung up the phone and looked down at Rae. "I have to go".

"Ok".

"I love you" she said softly. Rae leaned up and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

"I love you too" she whispered back. They shared one more kiss then Olivia got up from the bed and headed quietly out of their bedroom. She looked in on the boys then left the apartment. Rae thought about how things were going between the two of them and she wasn't happy about it. She hated fighting all the time especially with the boys in the house. Calvin was old enough to know what was going on and it wouldn't be long before it started to affect Noah as well. They needed to work through their issues soon if they wanted to live the life they both wanted to have together.


	10. Chapter 10: We Need More

Chapter 10: We Need More

Olivia wasn't home by the time Rae and the kids got up the next morning so the three of them had breakfast without her. Calvin was worried that they'd had another fight and that Olivia had left to stay somewhere else. Rae assured him that she'd just went to work and that she'd be back. They were just cleaning up the breakfast dishes when Olivia walked into the apartment. Calvin and Noah both ran over to hug her and tell her good morning. She gave hugs and kisses before walking over to the kitchen where Rae was still loading the dishwasher.

"Hey" she said with a soft smile.

"Hi". She paused from loading the dishwasher and turned to face her. She wrapped her arms around her waist and leaned her head back. Olivia leaned down and brought their lips together in a sweet, loving kiss. "You look tired" she said once their lips parted.

"I am….very tired" she said with a light laugh.

"You have to go back to work soon?" Olivia nodded.

"Yeah. I just came home to shower and change". Rae let go of her and finished up loading the dishwasher. "I was hoping you hadn't eaten breakfast yet so that I could eat with you guys".

"Yeah. They both got up a bit early today". She closed then started the dishwasher then proceeded to clear and wipe down the countertops. When she was satisfied that it was clean, she turned to leave the kitchen and saw that Olivia was still standing there, watching her. "What?"

"Umm, can we talk?" Rae bit her lip and took a breath.

"Yeah" she said hesitantly. It was early and the boys were up. She really wasn't in the mood for an argument but they had to talk some time. They went in their bedroom and shut the door.

"So I was thinking….you know how you said that maybe we should get Calvin some help to deal with everything he's been through?"

"Yeah".

"I was thinking that maybe we should take your advice for ourselves" she said with a shrug.

"Um, okay" Rae said confused.

"Maybe we should try couples' therapy" she suggested.

"Couples' therapy?" Rae repeated questioningly.

"Yeah. I mean you always say that we have….I have communication issues and we're having a terrible time trying to work things out on our own so….maybe we need some help; professional help". Rae thought about it for a moment and decided it wasn't a terrible idea.

"Ok" she agreed. "That sounds fine but…."

"But what?"

"When are we gonna have time for couples' therapy?"

"We'll make time" she said confidently. "We'll find a therapist that can work with our schedules. We can ask Lucy or your mom or Jimmy to watch the boys when we have appointments" she said listing arrangements that they could make. "I'm….tired of arguing Araeyah. I…I'm tired of this, this tension between us. I just want us to be happy again. I want the boys to be happy. I want us to move forward the way we planned and…."

" _We_ didn't plan, Olivia" she said angrily, "that's kind of the problem".

"What does that mean?" Rae sighed and ran her hands through her hair.

"Let's not do this now, ok?" she asked pleadingly. "Just go shower and change so you can get back to work. We can talk more about this later".

"Araeyah…."

"Olivia please" she said stopping her from continuing the conversation. Before she could say anything else, Rae left out of their room to join Calvin and Noah in the living room. Olivia went to the kitchen to put on some coffee then went to shower and change her clothes. When she came back out to the kitchen, coffee was in her traveler's cup and a bag was next to it. Inside were two containers, one with a sandwich the other with soup, and a few small sandwich bags with nuts and crackers for snacks. There was also a bottle of tea and plastic spoon. She looked over to the living room at Rae who was playing with Noah and Calvin and she couldn't help but smile. In the midst of their frustration and anger with one another was the simple, but very loving, gesture of her packing a lunch and snacks for what was sure to be a long day. With that gesture came some security in what they were to each other. It didn't matter that they weren't really talking to each other. Nothing got in the way of how much love was between them. She was sure that they would be okay. They would make it through this just the same as they'd made it through everything else, together. She grabbed her traveler's mug and the bag of food and headed over to the door. She put on her coat and said goodbye to her fiancé and their children then headed back to work.

They didn't get a chance to talk more about couples' therapy because Olivia ended up working around the clock on new cases coming in. Rae and the kids only saw her when she came home to shower and change her clothes then she was off to work again. After two days of being in the house alone with them, they packed some bags and went to stay with Soraya and Jimmy so she could have some help. Calvin was easier because she didn't have to give him so much attention. He basically entertained himself. But Noah was getting into everything and needed constant supervision. Watching him by herself all day meant that she couldn't get any studying done. At her mom's house, she had her mother and Jimmy to help her out.

"How long are you staying?" Soraya asked taking a seat next to her on the couch.

"Umm, just a couple days" she said not looking up from her books.

"And why aren't you at home with your fiancé?"

"Because even if I were home, I wouldn't be home with my fiance" she said annoyed. "And I just needed some help with Noah. Where is Noah?" she asked noticing how quiet it was.

"He's downstairs with Jimmy and Calvin. They're playing video games". She reached over and took the book that was sitting in her daughter's lap. "What's going on with you and Olivia?" Rae sighed. "Is there someone else that she's…."

"No mom" Rae said quickly. "We're just….going through a rough patch that's all. Noah's adoption, Calvin showing up, the wedding…" she paused considering whether to mention Amanda or not, "it's a lot to deal with" she said deciding against it. "And we aren't communicating with each other very well".

"About what?"

"Olivia wants to keep Calvin" she said starting to explain their troubles, "and that's ok" she added quickly.

"It is?"

"Yes" she said confidently. "She loves him and so does Noah. And _I_ love him and I want him to stay with us. It's not about that. It's that she made the decision without me. She went behind my back, she forced my hand. I know I would've decided that we should keep him anyway it's just…it's the principle, you know?"

"I do" Soraya said simply. "What else?" she asked, knowing there was more her daughter wasn't saying.

"She doesn't think I should be friends with Amanda".

"Mhm hmm" Soraya mumbled. "Why not?"

"She's never really given me a real reason, just that she doesn't like it. It makes her uncomfortable".

"Because you two used to date?" Rae nodded.

"She doesn't trust me" she said sadly. "She wants to marry me, raise kids together, live the rest of our lives together but….she doesn't trust me. How does that even work?"

"She loves you" Soraya stated plainly.

"You say that like it's enough" she said angrily. "It's not. We need more than that to make it the rest of our lives together. I need more than that. I just, I don't…."

"You don't what?" she asked encouraging her to go on. Rae didn't want to complete her thought out loud. "What azizam?" Soraya asked pushing her to continue.

"I don't want to be with her" she said bluntly. She regretted the words as soon as they passed her lips. But it was how she felt and ignoring it wouldn't make it go away. "If she doesn't trust me….I don't want to be with her".

"So you're giving up?"

"No, I'm not giving up" she said without hesitation. "I love her. I trust her. I respect her. I give her everything she asks for but this thing with Amanda is just…it's insulting. I'm insulted that she thinks that I would ever…."

"Araeyah" Soraya reached over and took her hand. Rae stopped and took a deep breath, realizing that she was practically yelling. She hoped that nothing she said could be heard downstairs.

"It's the principle, mom" she said calmly. "There are just some things that can't be compromised; there are some things I won't give up".

"Why can't you say these things to her?"

"I don't know" she said with a shrug. "I can. I can say these things but it won't help. It won't change how she feels or what she thinks. She wants to try couple's therapy".

"That's a good thing" Soraya said, sounding pleased to hear it. "It means she wants things to change. She wants things to get better".

"I don't know if they can" Rae said honestly. She took her book back and started to read again. Soraya wanted to offer some words of wisdom to her daughter but she wasn't sure she would be receptive to it. She started to get up from the couch then thought better of it.

"I know I wasn't very supportive in the beginning but I am now. I love you and I love Olivia" she said sincerely. "I love the family you've built together and I know you do too. I know you don't want to lose it. So you have to fight for it. Things won't get better if you don't believe they can". She gave her hand a supportive squeeze then got up from the couch and left her alone. Rae thought about what her mom was saying and she knew that she was right. She needed to change her attitude about her relationship with Olivia if she wanted thing to get better between them. She put it out of her mind as best as she could so she could study. She had two whole hours of uninterrupted reading before Jimmy came upstairs with the boys. He made them lunch, they ate at the table then they went back downstairs. An hour later, Jimmy came back up with Noah.

"Noah needs his inhaler" he said over the sound of Noah's wheezing.

"It's in the bag" she said not looking up from her books.

"What bag?"

"The one I packed for him".

"Well, where is it?"

"In his room". Jimmy sat Noah on the couch then went upstairs to his room to find his inhaler. Noah crawled over to Rae and climbed in her lap. He laid his head on her chest and stuck his thumb in his mouth. Jimmy came back downstairs with his inhaler and took him from Rae.

"When did he start sucking his thumb?" Jimmy asked.

"Just now" she said continuing to study.

"What's up with you?" he asked, noticing how inattentive she was being to Noah.

"I'm trying to study, Jimmy" she said annoyed.

"Well, Noah was having trouble breathing…"

"And now he's not" she said interrupting him.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" he asked concerned. Rae sighed and shook her head.

"No. I just want to study".

"Ok" he said quietly. He took Noah and went back downstairs and left her alone to continue studying. They came back up thirty minutes later and Calvin came over and sat down on the couch.

"Are you and mom getting a divorce?" he asked.

"You have to be married to get a divorce" she said not looking up from her books.

"Well are you breaking up?" he asked amending his question.

"No" she said simply.

"Then why are we staying with grandma?"

"Because your mom is working on an important case and I need some help looking after you and your brother so I can get some studying done" she explained. "Lucy's out of town with her family for the holidays so we're staying here for a while so I can get help from grandma and uncle Jimmy. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, fine" he said with a nod. "As long as you're not breaking up" he added. "Can we order pizza for dinner?"

"No" she said looking back down at her books, "grandma's cooking". He looked over to the kitchen and saw Soraya at the stove.

"For tomorrow then?"

"We'll see". He got up from the couch and went over to the kitchen where Noah was sitting with Jimmy watching Soraya cook dinner. Meanwhile, Olivia was back at the apartment wondering where they were. Rae hadn't called or texted her to say that they were going anywhere. She pulled out her phone and called Rae but got no answer. Her next call was to Ashley then Simone then Maureen and last was Amanda. None of them knew where she was. She tried calling Araeyah again, but again she got no answer. Then she thought to call Soraya.

"Hey, Soraya, I'm here at the apartment and Rae is gone. And the boys are…she is?" she asked surprised.

"Yes. She's here and the boys are here. They're fine".

"Oh ok" she said relieved. "Um, I'll…no it's fine. I'll be there soon". She hung up the phone then grabbed her coat and put it back on as she headed out the door. She pulled into Soraya's drive way twenty minutes later, parked behind Rae's car, got out and went up to the door. She rang the bell and waited. A minute later, Soraya opened the door and invited her in.

"Mommy" Noah said excitedly. He hopped down from the couch and ran over to her.

"Hi my love" she said scooping him up into her arms. She held him and kissed him on the cheek. Jimmy and Calvin came upstairs to see who'd rang the bell.

"Mom" Calvin said excited to see her. He hurried over to her and wrapped her in a hug. "You've been gone for like…..forever" he said still holding on to her.

"I know love" she said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Are you done?" he asked finally releasing her from his hug.

"Done?" she repeated.

"Mama said you were working on an important case" he clarified.

"Oh yeah" she said with a nod. "Well no" she corrected herself. "It's not done but we're done for the day".

"Can we go to Time's Square tomorrow and watch the ball drop for New Year's?" he asked.

"Uh, we'll see". She put Noah down and went over to the couch, taking a seat next to Rae. She hesitated for a minute before closing her books and sitting them on the coffee table. They looked at each other, not saying anything. Then Rae leaned forward and kissed Olivia sweetly on the lips.

"I want us to be happy again too" she said softly. "So let's do it, couple's therapy. You're right. We can make time". Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. "I love you".

"I love you too".


	11. Chapter 11: The Wonders of Science

**AN: Hi all! It's been such a long time since I updated my stories but I'm getting back into writing. I'm excited to pick it up again and I hope you all are just as excited to see updates posted. As always, leave you comments/suggestions/reviews. Please be both honest and respectful. I look forward to getting your feedback. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 11: The Wonders of Science

Olivia spent time with the kids while Rae continued reading and Soraya worked on dinner. Rae couldn't concentrate anymore with the noise coming from Noah's playroom so she put her books down and went over to the kitchen to help her mother. They cooked silently together until Soraya finally spoke.

"So, have you decided what you're going to do?" she asked.

"About what?" Rae asked pretending not to know what she was talking about.

"Don't play clueless" Soraya said giving her a side eye.

"It's dumb" she corrected her.

"What?"

"The saying is "don't play dumb", she clarified.

"Whatever" she said with a shrug. "What are you going to do?"

"We're gonna do therapy" she said simply.

"Good" Soraya said with a sigh of relief. "I'm glad". Rae nodded her head but didn't seem very happy. "Aren't you?"

"Of course I am".

"You don't seem very happy".

"I'm just tired, mom" she said with a forced smile.

"Why don't you go lie down until dinner is ready?" she said rubbing her back. "I'll finish cooking". Rae nodded her head.

"Ok" she said softly. She walked out of the kitchen and dragged herself upstairs to her room. Soraya went over to the playroom and looked in on the boys. Olivia sat and watched Calvin help Noah with a puzzle. Olivia looked up and saw her standing in the doorway.

"Is dinner ready?"

"No" she said with a quick shake of her head. She walked into the room and sat down next to her. "It'll be a while longer. I just thought you might want to….go check on Araeyah" she said quietly.

"I thought she was studying". Soraya shook her head.

"She went upstairs to lay down" she said keeping her voice down for the boys' sake. "Go on" she said nudging her, "I'll keep an eye on them". Olivia got up from the floor and left the playroom, heading upstairs to check on her fiancé. She knocked lightly on the door then rolled her eyes at herself for knocking when she knew she could just go in. She opened the door, stepped inside and shut the door behind her before walking over to the bed and sitting down on the bed next to Rae.

"Hey" she said quietly. She rested her hand on her hip, rubbing her thumb back and forth. Rae's eyes fluttered open.

"Hi" she said with a soft smile.

"You okay?"

"Yeah".

"You sure?"

"I'm just tired" she said softly.

"I'm sorry I haven't been home for a few days" she apologized.

"It's ok".

"No, it's not okay" she said quickly. "I promised you that you wouldn't do this alone".

"I'm not".

"I meant that I would do this with you" she clarified. "Not your mother and Jimmy".

"I know what you meant" Rae said with a light laugh. "But we have to be realistic. Your job has crazy hours. My hours at the hospital aren't great either. I'm starting my rotations in two weeks. That's ten to twelve hour shifts six days a week and thirty hours on call once a week".

"Thirty hours?" she asked surprised. Rae nodded.

"Yeah" she said with a laugh. "Doctors are crazy. It won't be too bad for me because I'm a student but whoever my resident is, I'm sure, will give me as much of their scut work as possible. It's how they're able to do all the fun procedures".

"And that's what you've always dreamed of doing?"

"Didn't you always dream of being an SVU detective?"

"No, actually" she said with a laugh. "Not until I found out about my father. I started in the unit and now I can't imagine doing anything else".

"Well, my time volunteering in the hospital was enough for me to know that I can't imagine doing anything else either". She took Olivia's hand and looked up at her. "Neither one of us is going to be doing this alone. It's not possible. So we'll do this together….with a lot of help". They both laughed. "I love you".

"I love you too".

"Listen, about Amanda…."

"I don't want you to not be friends with her" Olivia said interrupting her.

"You don't?" Rae asked surprised.

"No" she said with a laugh. "You're right. I have no reason to doubt you. I'm projecting".

"Did you start therapy on your own behind my back?" she asked jokingly.

"No" she said with a laugh. "Can I lay down with you?"

"Please" Rae said scooting over to make room. Olivia kicked off her shoes and laid down. Rae moved into her and laid her head on her chest. Olivia's arms wrapped tightly around her. Rae closed her eyes and listened to the sound of Olivia's heartbeat. She couldn't imagine that there'd ever be a time when she wouldn't be able to do this; lay her head on her chest and listen to the sweet sound of her heart beating. It was one of her favorite things to do. Things had been hard between them for a while but Olivia was willing to do whatever it took to work through things and she was too. There was a knock at the door then it opened and Jimmy stuck his head in.

"Hey" he said looking over at them, "dinner's ready. We're all waiting".

"Ok. We'll be right down". Rae sat up and moved to get off the bed. Olivia did the same. "So, umm, have you thought about who you'd like to go to?" she asked as she moved toward the door. "For therapy?" she clarified.

"I don't know" she said with a shrug. "Maybe we can ask your mother for some referrals" she suggested. Rae nodded.

"Ok". They left the bedroom together and went downstairs. They went to the guest bathroom to wash their hands then joined Soraya, Jimmy, and the kids at the table for dinner. Soraya asked a million questions about the wedding and Rae and Olivia didn't have any answers for her. They told her the wedding planning was on hold until after Noah's adoption was finalized and Calvin's custody was settled. They had until at least February for Calvin and who knows how long for Noah. Plus, they had some issues to work through but they didn't say that out loud.

After dinner, Soraya and Jimmy cleaned the kitchen together while Rae and Olivia spent time with the kids together. After that it was baths and bedtime. Olivia put Noah in bed and noticed, as she read him a story, that he was sucking his thumb. She made a mental note to ask Rae about it later. Calvin slept downstairs on an air mattress in Jimmy's room. Even though he was supposed to be going to sleep, Rae was sure he was down there playing video games. She went upstairs and knocked on her mother's bedroom door then went in when she was invited. She asked her if she knew any good counselors that she and Olivia could go to for couple's therapy. She didn't know any personally but she said she'd be happy to ask around for her. She thanked her then went to her bedroom. She undressed and went into the bathroom to shower. When she came out of the bathroom Olivia was there getting ready for bed.

Rae tossed her wet towel into the laundry basket and started to put on lotion. Olivia went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. Rae had put on shorts and a t shirt and was getting into bed when she came out of the bathroom. She got in bed beside her and laid down, staring up at the ceiling. Rae was sitting up against the headboard studying.

"Have you noticed that Noah's started sucking his thumb?" Olivia asked. She brought her hand up and put it under her head.

"yeah" Rae said not looking away from her book. "I saw him doing it earlier".

"Well, what do you think we should do about it?"

"Nothing" she said simply. "Why would we do anything about it?"

"Because it's a bad habit".

"He's just self-soothing" Rae said seemingly unfazed by it. "He'll grow out of it".

"You think so?" Olivia asked unsure.

"Yeah, I do". Olivia sighed and looked back up at the ceiling.

"Did you ask your mom about counselors?" she asked looking at her again.

"Yeah. She said she's gonna ask around for some names".

"Am I annoying you?"

"No" she said shaking her head.

"What are you reading about?"

"Vascualr anatomy of the kidney" she said dryly.

"Oh" Olivia said with a nod. Rae finally looked away from her book at her fiancé. "That sounds….interesting" she said with a pursed lips, trying to hide the smirk on her face.

"Yeah, actually, it is" she said with a smile.

"I've never understood people who are into science. It was always really boring to me".

"It's not boring" Rae said offended. "It's fascinating. Everything working together to help us breath and think and move. It's all the same for each person and still, it's all different". She closed her book and set it on the night stand then laid down with her. "The size of ours hands" she said taking her hand into her own, "the color of our eyes, the way our hearts beat" she said moving her hand to lay on her chest above her heart, "it all came from two tiny cells. There were infinite possibilities but somehow we both came out with brown eyes, hands that fit perfectly together and hearts that beat perfectly in sync. One cell out of place and we could've been completely different people. And you think that's boring?"

"Well when you put it like that" Olivia said with a smile. Rae chuckled as she leaned in to kiss her. Their lips connected in a sweet, loving kiss.

"And lips that fit my lips" she said softly against her lips. Olivia laughed into their kiss and turned to face her. She ended the kiss and looked her in the eyes.

"I love you" she said softly.

"I know" she said back. "Thanks to the wonders of science". Olivia laughed and brought their lips together again. It was the first tension free, argument free quality time they'd spent together in almost a week. They undressed each other and made love, careful not to be too loud. They slept peacefully in each other's arms. They woke up to a knock on their door. Rae slowly roused herself from sleep and got out of bed. She threw her t shirt over her head and pulled on her shorts then headed to the door. When she opened it she saw Noah there with his teddy bear.

"Good morning Noah bear" she said as she knelt down to his level. "You wanna wake mommy?" she asked. He nodded enthusiastically. Rae picked him up and walked over to the bed with him before tossing him on top of Olivia. She groaned her frustration at such a painful wakeup call as Noah's elbow dug into her side.

"Wake up mommy" Noah said bouncing on the bed. Olivia groaned again and Rae laughed as she tried to duck under the covers. "No mommy" Noah protested. "Up, up, up" he said with every bounce. She poked her head from under the covers.

"Ok, ok" she said giving in. "I'm up". Rae picked Noah up again and sat him on her hip. She knew that Olivia wasn't wearing any clothes under the covers so she needed to give her some time to get dressed.

"Come on bear" she said, "let's go brush our teeth. Ok?"

"Ok" he said with a giggle. She took him into the bathroom and shut the door behind them. Olivia dragged herself from bed and threw her clothes on before joining Rae and Noah in the bathroom. They all brushed their teeth together before Rae and Noah went downstairs. It was seven am and Olivia had to be to work at eight so she took a quick shower and got dressed before going downstairs. Rae was in the kitchen starting on breakfast and Noah was riding around the living and dining room in his dump truck. Calvin and Jimmy came upstairs, woken up from the sound of Olivia playing with Noah and the aroma of breakfast filtering through the house. They sat down to breakfast at seven twenty five and Olivia was out the door to work twenty minutes later. Soraya came down at eight fifteen surprised to see everyone already awake and Olivia gone.

"She had to work" Rae said simply. "Blame Noah for everyone being up so early". She made a plate for her and she sat at the breakfast bar to eat while Rae cleaned up. Jimmy took the boys downstairs to play video games so, once she was done cleaning up, she got her books and went to the living room to study. Soraya finished her breakfast and cleaned up her own plate then went over to sit with her daughter.

"So" she said getting her daughter's attention, "you spoke to Olivia about counseling?"

"Yeah" she said not looking up from her book. "I don't know how we'll find the time but we'll work it out. We always do".

"Good. I'm glad" she said pleased. "For both of you….and the boys" she added. She looked up her.

"Thanks mom" she said with a soft smile.

"So are you really going to wait on the wedding?"

"Um hum" she mumbled.

"Do you think that's wise?"

"Yes I do" she said definitely, "but I'm guessing you don't and you're going to tell me why".

"Well, I think you should at least start planning the wedding".

"Wedding planning is stressful mom and we have enough stress without adding wedding plans in the mix. I mean Liv is running a squad and I'm starting my rotations at the hospital. Langan said the hearing for Noah will be soon and Calvin's hearing could be as soon as February. Plus finding a therapist and starting counseling, it's….."

"Well, I can start" she interrupted her with the offered. "You two focus on work, school, the kids. I can handle the wedding planning".

"Thank you mom but Liv and I can plan our own wedding" she said turning her down. "And we won't be picking a date or planning anything until we work through our issues in therapy".

"Araeyah, should I be worried about you and Oli…."

"No mom" she said before she finished the question. "We're fine. We're gonna be fine. Our wedding is gonna happen. It's just….it's not the priority right now".

"Ok. I'll go check on the boys" she said getting up from the couch. Rae nodded then turned her attention back to her studies. The day went quickly. Rae and Jimmy took the boys out to lunch and then to the park. Olivia met them back at Soraya's house. They'd finally caught their perp and were able to hand the case off to the DA's office. Calvin kept bugging them so they finally agreed to order pizza for dinner and said they'd decide later about going to Times Square for the countdown. Rae called Amanda and asked what her plans were for the holiday. She said she and Fin were going to his son's house. Ken and Alejandro were having a New Year's party and had invited them. She heard Fin yell in the background that she and Olivia should come. She said she'd talk to Liv and call them back. The boys were down in Jimmy's makeshift apartment, again, playing video games. Rae went upstairs to her bedroom to talk to Olivia.

"Hey babe" she said walking into the room. "Fin and Amanda are going to Ken's house tonight. He and Alejandro are having a party. Fin says we should come". Olivia towel dried her hair and tossed the towel into the laundry basket. "Do you wanna go?"

"I thought we were going to take the boys to Times Square?"

"Well, I told Calvin we'd consider it. I didn't promise him we'd go" she corrected.

"Araeyah…"

"I'll ask my mom" she said quickly, "and Jimmy. I'm sure they'd be happy to take them to see the ball drop".

"Don't you think Jimmy has plans with his friends?" she asked.

"Fine. My mother then" she said impatiently. She didn't understand why Olivia wouldn't just say she didn't want to go instead of making excuses about why they couldn't go.

"Ok" she said reluctantly. "We'll go". Rae's smile grew and she happily dialed Amanda back.

"Hey" she said when Amanda answered. "Yeah, we'll be there" she said excitedly. "Ok. We'll see you later".

"Why'd you do that?" Olivia asked with an attitude.

"What?" Rae asked confused.

"You just told them we'd be there".

"You just said we can go".

"But you haven't even asked your mother about keeping the boys yet".

"Oh come on Liv, like she'd say no" she said dismissing her concern. Rae left the bedroom and went to talk to her mother about taking the boys to Times Square for the countdown. As Rae expected, she said she'd love to take them. Rae went downstairs and broke up the guy fest happening in the basement and told Calvin to go shower and get ready to go out. She took Noah upstairs with her to get him a change of clothes. When Calvin was done in the bathroom, Rae took Noah in to give him a bath.

"Did you get the soap I told you about for him?" Olivia asked as she ran the bath water.

"Yes I did" she said as she put Noah in the tub. She turned off the water and started to wash him up.

"Make sure you don't get his hair wet" yelled into the bedroom from the bathroom. Rae rolled her eyes and continued giving Noah his bath. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes Olivia" she yelled back. She finished with Noah in the tub and took him into his room to get him dressed. When she was done, Jimmy took him back downstairs and Rae went in her room to pick out clothes to wear to the party.

"Are you sure you didn't get his hair wet?"

"Olivia" Araeyah said annoyed, "I know how to give him a bath".

"I know that babe" she said in a pacifying tone, "I just want to be sure since he's going ou…."

"I'm sure" she said cutting her off. She decided on wearing a red dress with black flats. She shut the bedroom door and started to undress for a shower.

"I just wanted to be sure th…"

"I said I'm sure Olivia" she snapped. "Are you trying to piss me off?"

"No" she scoffed. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you bit my head off for telling Amanda we'd be at the party and now you're nitpicking at me about things you know I know how to handle".

"I wasn't nitpicking" Olivia argued.

"Yeah, you were". Rae didn't wait for Olivia to say anything else. She just went into the bathroom and shut the door. Olivia stood there unsure of what to do next. She was picking a fight and she wasn't entirely sure why. Maybe she was just blowing off steam or maybe she wasn't entirely comfortable with how comfortable Rae was with sending Soraya to Times Square with the boys alone on New Year's Eve or maybe she wasn't looking forward to seeing her fiancé spend the evening with her ex. She shook it off and went over to her bag to choose a shirt. She settled on the red shirt she'd packed since Rae had picked a red dress. She finished getting dressed then went downstairs to spend time with the boys while Rae finished in the shower and got dressed.

An hour later they were all walking out the door together. Rae gave Jimmy a speech about being safe and staying out of trouble. She made sure her mother had everything she needed for the boys while Olivia told Calvin behave, stay close to his grandmother and help her look after Noah. After "I love you" and kisses goodbye, they all got in their cars and went to their separate destinations. When Rae and Olivia arrived at Ken and Alejandro's house, Fin and Amanda were already there. They were immediately offered drinks, which they both happily accepted and then separated with each other to mingle with the other guests. Rae found her way to Amanda while Olivia caught up with Ken.

"Did something happen today?" Rae asked curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"At work…with Liv" she clarified. Amanda shook her head.

"Nothing that I know about".

"She was just….in a mood when we were getting ready. I thought something might've happened today to upset her".

"I thought it was a good day" she said with a shrug. "I mean we caught the guy we've been after. It looks solid. Barba thinks he can win".

"Maybe I'm just…being too sensitive".

"You?" Amanda said with a side glance. "Too sensitive? I don't think that's possible". Rae laughed.

"Shut up". She finished her first drink and they headed to the kitchen together for another. Olivia's eyes followed them as she listened to Ken tell her about the work he was doing at his youth center. He noticed she was distracted by her fiancé.

"I'm sorry" he said apologizing. "I tend to go on and on when I'm talking about my kids".

"No, it's fine" Olivia said quickly. "I'm listening".

"You sure?" he asked. "You seem to be much more interested in Rae than what I'm talking about".

"Well, I'm always more interested in her" she said with a laugh.

"My dad told me the good news". Olivia furrowed her brow to convey her confusion. "That you're getting married" he clarified.

"Ah, yeah. She said yes" she said happily.

"Congratulations".

"Thank you".

"You set a date yet?"

"No. We haven't been able to settle on a good one yet" she said disappointed.

"Well, whatever date you decide on, Alejandro and I will be there" he assured her.

"Good. I'm glad". Fin came over to them to join the conversation.

"I hope you two aren't talking shop while there's a party going on" he said accusingly.

"I was just congratulating Olivia on her engagement" Ken said even though just before that they had been talking about work.

"Oh yeah. You two pick a date yet?" he asked, repeating the same question Ken had asked.

"No Fin. We haven't".

"What's the hold up? We're getting impatient".

"We?"

"Everybody. Me, Amanda, Barba, Carisi, Melinda. Huang's even called to ask about it. We're ready to mark our calendars".

"We'll be sure to speed up the process for everyone" she said with a smirk.

"Good" he said taking her statement seriously. She saw Amanda and Rae emerge from the kitchen and join a group of two women and one man, starting a conversation. She watched her fiancé as she engaged with Amanda and the new people she'd just met. She smiled and laughed the way that Olivia loved; she brushed hands and touched shoulders. Everything she did with Amanda, she did with the others. Everything that Rae said was true. She was a natural flirt. It wasn't something that Olivia was always comfortable with but, at the very least, it eased some of her anxiety about Amanda. Rae looked her way and saw her staring. She excused herself from the people she was talking to and went over to her.

"Hey" she said resting her hand on her hip. Olivia leaned down and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

"Hi" she said back.

"Hey Fin" she said greeting him for the first time that night.

"Araeyah" he said tipping his imaginary hat to her. "We were just telling Liv that you two need to hurry up and pick a date for the wedding so we can all mark our calendars".

"Ok" she said with a laugh. "We'll get right on that. Ken" she said turning to his son. She stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek. "How is everything? I talked to Alejandro in the kitchen. He said you just started at a new youth center".

"Don't get him started" Fin said. They all laughed.

"My dad's right" Ken said agreeing with him. "I can go on and on about my work".

"Well, you wouldn't be the only one" she said taking glances at Olivia and Fin.

"What?" Olivia said innocently.

"Come on, y'all are always talking about work" Rae said before finishing her drink. "I'm gonna get a refill" she said holding up her glass. "You are driving tonight" she said poking Olivia.

"Yes I am" she said with a laugh. Rae headed back to the kitchen to get another drink and Ken told Olivia that she should move around the room and talk to people. He had a lot of friends and coworkers there that would love to talk to someone with her experience. Fin groaned and said it was party and they shouldn't be talking about their depressing jobs. And they couldn't prove Rae's crack about them always talking about work be right. Ken said that she could at least exchange information with some people to talk at another time. So they started to mingle with new people. Rae met some people in the medical field and exchanged numbers. Some people she just exchanged numbers with because they seemed like they'd be good people to hang out with. Olivia stepped away from the party to call Soraya and check on her and the kids. She didn't answer so she just left a message. When it was time for the countdown, Rae found her way to Olivia and, just like the years before, they brought in the new year together.

They stayed at Ken and Alejandro's for a few more hours before heading out. Olivia drove since Rae had more than a few drinks at the party. When they got in, they checked on the kids, who were both fast asleep, then went upstairs to their bedroom to continue celebrating new year's. Rae, who was a bit drunk, was having a bit of trouble keeping it down. Olivia finally had to give her a pillow to put over her face to quiet her down. When they were all out of energy, they settled next to each other under the covers. Rae laid on her back staring at the ceiling and Olivia turned to face her.

'What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly.

"You trying to smother me" she said jokingly.

"I did not" Olivia said with a laugh. "You were really loud".

"I was not" she argued.

"You were gonna wake the baby".

"Was not" she continued to argue. She turned on her side to face her fiancé. "Ken and Alejandro are doing well, huh?"

"Yeah, they are".

"Ken said they're talking about having a baby" Rae said with a smile.

"Really? Adopting?" she asked. She shook her head.

"They want to find a surrogate. But they're thinking about putting it off since Ken just started at that youth center".

"He really seems to love it".

"Yeah" she said softly. "Do you want more kids?" Rae asked abruptly.

"Uh…ummm" Olivia stuttered.

"It's not a trick question" Rae said with a laugh.

"Yeah, I do" she answered. "Do you?"

"I don't know" she answered honestly. "I think about it sometimes".

"Yeah?"

"Yeah".

"And what do you think?" Olivia asked nervously. She brought her hand up to touch her cheek.

"I think we have our hands full right now" she said softly, "and that we shouldn't add anymore to our plates".

"Not now" Olivia agreed. "But what about later?" Rae shrugged her shoulders.

"It's just….hard to think of when would be the right time. Your job is what it is and, once I'm done with med school, I'll have my residency. Things only get busier for me and things are always busy for you".

"There'll never be a perfect time" Olivia said softly as she stroked her cheek, "But we always make it work. Right?"

"Yeah" she said with a nod. She leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips then moved into her. Olivia wrapped her arms around her and they fell asleep together. The next morning Soraya made breakfast for everyone and they all spent the day at her house. They ordered in for dinner then watched a movie. After the movie, Rae, Olivia, and the boys packed up their things and went home. Calvin showered first and went to bed then Olivia gave Noah his bath before putting him in bed. Once the boys were down for the night, Rae and Olivia retreated to their room. They showered and got in bed but neither of them was very tired. Olivia read a book and Rae studied one of her textbooks. After an hour, she finally closed the book and put it on the night stand next to her. She laid down and got comfortable then looked over at Olivia.

"So my mom talked a colleague of hers and she's willing to work us into her schedule". Olivia closed her book and put it on her bedside table. She turned off her lamp and then laid down.

"Ok" she said simply. "You sure you wanna do this?" she asked. "Therapy?" Rae nodded.

"Yeah" she said definitively. "You?"

"Yeah".

"Well, I talked to her today, the therapist, and she can fit us in on Wednesday at six. Is that okay?"

"Ummm….well, uh, what about the kids?" Olivia asked. She was surprised that Rae had already arranged things and not said anything to her about it.

"My mom said she can pick Noah up from daycare and get Calvin from school and they can stay at her house until we're done".

"Oh ok. That'll be fine".

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be there".

"Ok. Great". Rae turned over and turned off her bedside light then scoop into Olivia. She reached back and grabbed her hand and pulled her arm around her. They relaxed into each other and went to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12: First Session

Chapter 12: First Session

The next couple of days went by and finally it was Wednesday. She'd dropped Calvin at school that morning. It was only his third day but he seemed to like it well so far. He'd made a few friends and would be starting at the afterschool soccer clinics the next week. She had nothing else to do so she kept Noah home from daycare to spend time with him. There were only a few days left on her holiday break then she would start the spring semester and he'd have to go to daycare every day. But she wanted to enjoy these last few days of winter vacation with the kids. She just wished Olivia could take time off to enjoy it with them. Today was important to them. They were meeting their counselor for the first time this evening. She hoped nothing came up at work for Olivia and they didn't have to cancel. She called her at four thirty to make sure they were still ok to go to the appointment. Olivia hesitated before saying there was nothing important happening and she'd be there. Even though counseling had been her idea, Olivia was a bit nervous about going. But she would do anything to make things work with Araeyah. She'd do anything to marry her and have a family with her. So if going to counseling was what she had to do, she would do it.

Rae got Noah a snack and put him at the table to eat it. She called her mother and told her not to pick up Calvin; that she would pick him up herself. Once he was done she packed his bag with a change of clothes and his favorite book then got him bundled up, put on her coat and headed to pick Calvin up from school. She got there right at five o'clock and waited in the pickup lane for him to come out. She and Olivia had decided to sign him up for an after school enrichment program. It met on Mondays and Wednesdays. He'd only turned his form in the day before so today was his first day.

"So, how was it?" she asked when he got in the car. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine".

"Just fine?" she asked curiously. He nodded his head. "What'd you do?"

"Studied some artists and then did our own paintings" he said nonchalantly. "Next week is music" he said excitedly. "Can I bring the stuff you bought me for Christmas?" he asked hopefully.

"I guess that should be fine" she said reluctantly, "But if it gets broken, I'm not replacing it".

"It won't get broken. I promise" he said happily.

"Seat belt". He reached over and pulled his belt across him as she pulled away from the school. She made it to her mom's by five thirty and took the boys inside. Calvin dropped his bag and coat at the door and took off to go down to Jimmy's room. "Hey" she said stopping him, "since when is this acceptable?" she asked pointing to his back pack and coat on the floor. He came back over and picked up his coat, hanging it on the coat rack and grabbed his back pack to put next to it on the floor. "And you know the rules" she said before he could put the bag down, "homework before video games". He let out a sigh

"Okay". He took his bag and went over to the table to get started. Soraya took Noah to the library so he could pick out a book and spend some time reading with him. Araeyah said goodbye to the boys and her mom and left to meet Olivia at the therapist's office. She arrived promptly at six and met their counselor. She introduced herself as Dr. Jeffries.

"Call me Alice if you'd like or Dr. J" she said nicely, "whatever you prefer". She invited Rae to have a seat and they waited quietly for Olivia to arrive.

"Sorry" she said breaking the silence after a few minutes. "Something must've come up for her at work".

"What does she do?"

"She's a Lieutenant for the NYPD" she said proudly. "She's the commander of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit".

"You sound proud of her" Dr. Jeffries said.

"I am" she said plainly. "She does good work, important work. I'm very proud of her". There was a knock on the door and it opened. Dr. Jeffries assistant Jennifer ushered Olivia in before exiting and shutting the door behind her.

"Hi" Olivia said stepping forward and extending her hand. Alice took her hand with a smile.

"Alice Jeffries" she said nicely. "Please sit" she said gesturing to the open space next to Araeyah. She went over and sat next to her fiancé.

"Sorry I'm late".

"No apologies necessary" she said reaching for her pen and notepad. "Araeyah wa…."

"Oh just Rae please" she said interrupting her.

"Ok. Rae…" she said with an acknowledging nod, "Rae was just telling me about your job. Lieutenant for the Manhattan Special Victims Unit; sounds like an important position".

"Depends on who you ask I guess" Olivia said modestly.

"No it doesn't" Rae argued. "It is an important job. And I was telling her that you were probably running late because something came up at work".

"Oh. Yeah, it did" she admitted. "But my team is more than capable of handling things without me".

"Good. So, why don't we start by you two telling me why you're here?" Olivia took a deep breath in and released it slowly as she thought about her answer. Rae just looked at her and waited.

"Ummm…" Olivia said with a nervous laugh. "Well, it was my idea for us to try counseling. We have some..." she paused, "I have some trouble communicating things".

"Just you?" she asked curiously.

"Well, Rae's a lot better at expressing herself than I am. I guess with my job I'm used to doing things a certain way. My old boss gave me a lot of autonomy and now I'm in charge so I'm the one giving orders or just doing things on my own. I don't really have to talk things out or explain myself very often and I think sometimes I bring that mentality home with me".

"Rae" Alice said looking to her, "do you agree with that? Do you feel that Olivia brings her mentality as a boss home with her?" Rae cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't know" she said with a shrug. "I, yeah, I guess it makes me angry when she doesn't talk to me about things. When she makes decisions for us without including me. And…" she continued, "I get frustrated because sometimes she doesn't listen to me. I think that's part of the communication problem. I mean, she hears me, what I say but she doesn't listen. I never attributed that to her job but…I guess it makes sense".

"Ok. So you want to communicate with each other better" she asked looking to Olivia. "And you want more understanding between the two of you?" she asked looking to Rae, wanting to clarify that she understood their goals.

"Yes" Olivia said confidently.

"Yeah" Rae said with a nod.

"Okay, good" she said jotting down some notes. "What else?" she asked. "Rae, Olivia brought up communication being a reason for her wanting to come here. What about you? What's a reason that you wanted to come here?"

"Trust" she said simply. "I don't think Olivia trusts me" she said honestly. "As her fiancé and sometimes as a mother, I don't think she trusts me". Olivia knew about Rae's doubts about her trust concerning Amanda but she didn't know about her doubts concerning the kids.

"Olivia, do you…."

"I trust her" she said interrupting her before she could finish her question. Rae rolled her eyes which didn't go unnoticed by Dr. Jeffries. She jotted down more notes on her notepad.

"She doesn't trust me" Rae argued, "and she won't admit it and that really pisses me off" she said angrily.

"I do trust you" Olivia said speaking directly to Rae.

"No, you don't" she continued to argue. "You can't tell me that you think I'm in love with someone else and still expect me to believe that you trust me".

"Ok" Alice said interrupting their argument. "Let's take a breath". They sat quietly for minute before she spoke again. "Rae, why do you feel that Olivia doesn't trust you?"

"I have an ex-girlfriend, Amanda, and our relationship didn't end terribly so we're still able to be friends; really good friends. Olivia doesn't want us to be friends. So doesn't want me to see her or talk to her or play with her dog" she said annoyed. "She thinks I should cut all ties with her. She can't even give me a good reason why. All she ever says is I don't like it" she said using air quotes. "She doesn't like it because she thinks I'm still in love with her and that I'm going to cheat on her. She doesn't trust me but she won't admit it and it drives me nuts".

"Why do you think she thinks you're still in love with her?"

"Because she told me" she said with a raised voice.

"I see" she said gaining some clarity. "Olivia, why do you think Rae is still in love with her ex?"

"Because she's so adamant about having a relationship with her. She talks to her all of the time, they spend a lot of time together, she takes care of her dog" Olivia said clearly not liking the aspects of their relationship. "And…"

"When we broke up and I was with Amanda, I still talked to you every day and I spent time with you all of the time" she reminded, "You never had a problem with it".

"That was different" she argued. "Anyway, we already talked about this and I told you I don't care if you stay friends with her so I don…".

"It was not different and don't insult my intelligence Olivia. I know you only said that because you didn't want me to be mad at you anymore. You didn't mean it. Just like you didn't mean it when you told me to keep the key to her apartment". Dr. Jeffries sat and listened to them argue and was getting firsthand experience of their communication issue.

"Ok" she said finally stopping them. "Let's take another breath". She gave them a minute to calm down before speaking again. "You have to be patient with each other. And, like Rae said, you need to listen to each other. That means not interrupting when the other is speaking. Let's start there" she said nicely. "As difficult as it is sometimes when someone is saying something that we don't agree with or that makes us angry, we have to let them finish. Can we all agree to that? No more interrupting?" she asked in a pacifying tone. "Rae?" she asked her first since she'd been the one doing the interrupting. She nodded.

"Yeah" she said softly.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah" she agreed.

"Rae, you mentioned a break up?"

"Olivia and I dated for two years then we broke up for a little over two years. I dated Amanda for a year during that time. We've been back together for almost two years now" she explained.

"What led to this break up?" Alice asked curiously. Rae folded her arms over her chest and sighed. She avoided eye contact with Olivia and Dr. Jeffries and stared off into space.

"I, um, I had an affair" Olivia reluctantly admitted. Dr. Jeffries sensed the shame that Olivia felt in having had an affair and having to admit it to her now.

"Is this person still a factor in your lives?"

"No" she answered quickly.

"Rae" Alice said getting her to engage in eye contact with her, "where did you go just then when I asked about the cause of your break up?"

"Nowhere" she said with a shrug. "It's just….not something I like to think about".

"How much do you think this affair has effected your ability to communicate and trust one another?"

"It hasn't affected my ability at all" Rae said without hesitation. "I forgave her and I've moved on".

"Are you sure?" Alice asked in a challenging tone.

"What do you mean?"

"You seem reluctant to talk about or address its impact on your relationship. That tells me there's some hurt, maybe even some anger, still there for you". Rae opened her mouth to argue but decided against it. She just sat quietly and kept the thoughts swirling around in her head to herself. "What about you, Olivia?" she asked, letting her assertion go unaddressed by Rae.

"I think our time apart was…." She paused looking for the right word to use, "terrible for us. And I don't think I realized how much it still affects our relationship until just now". Dr. Jeffries wrote some more notes down.

"Well, our time for this session is coming to an end" she said after checking her watch. "So I have one question for the both of you: are you fully committed to this process?"

"Yes, of course" Olivia said without hesitation. She was no stranger to therapy. She knew if they both put in the effort, it would help them. Rae wasn't so confident. Even with everything she'd been through, she'd never even considered counseling until now.

"And you Rae?" Dr. Jeffries asked pulling her from her thoughts.

"Yeah" she finally said. Dr. Jeffries looked skeptical. "Yes, I am" she said more confidently.

"Good. I have an assignment for you both. It's clear that there is a lot of history here that you need to work through together. So, I want each of you to write out the course of your relationship, from the moment you met until now. Whatever comes to mind about how you've gotten to this point in your relationship together, write it down. Don't share your lists with one another. I want you to do this separately. We'll be discussing it throughout the rest of our sessions together". They both nodded their understanding. "Ok. Shall I put you down for the same time next week?"

"Ummm…I don't know" Rae said with a shrug. "I start my med school rotations next week so I have to get my schedule".

"Ok. That's fine. Just call and talk with Jennifer once you've gone over your schedules". Olivia and Rae thanked her for her time and she said she looked forward to talking more with them. They said their goodbyes and left her office. It didn't feel like they'd made much of any progress but it was only their first session. They were able to hash out what their problems were but Rae felt like they'd already known that. Communication, understanding, trust; these were all things they already knew they needed to work on. She felt like it was broken record. But she understood that Alice needed to know what their issues were and where they stemmed from if she was going to be of any help to them. She guessed that was what the assignment was about. She'd hesitated when Dr. Jeffries asked about their commitment to the process because she wasn't sure that she was committed. But she knew she wanted things to work between her and Olivia. She wanted them to have a good, happy life with their boys. And like Olivia, she'd do anything to make that happen. It was going to be a long, hard road but she was up for it. She had to be.

When they left the counselor, Olivia had to get back to work so they said their goodbyes and parted ways. Rae went back to her mother's to get the boys. They were just cleaning up from dinner when she walked in. Her mother made her a plate even though she told her she wasn't hungry. Noah and Calvin were in the living room watching a movie while they sat at the dining room table.

"So how was it?" Soraya asked. Rae shrugged.

"Fine, I guess" she said pushing the food on her plate around.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. It was the first session. We didn't get through very much" she said softly. "We just laid out our issues and what we want to work on".

"That sounds about right for a first session" she said with a nod.

"She gave us an assignment to write out the history of our relationship from when we met to where we are now". She continued to push food around her plate as she thought about what she would write. "Should be interesting" she chuckled.

"Are you going to eat that or just push it around?" Soraya asked, noticing her playing with her food.

"I told you I wasn't hungry" she said pushing the plate away. She leaned back in her chair and sighed. "I should get the boys home. They need their baths and to get to bed. Calvin has school and Noah's going to daycare tomorrow".

"Why don't you let them stay here tonight?" she asked taking her hand. "Give yourself the night off. You could use a break. Sleep in tomorrow and have the day to yourself. You could work on that assignment". Rae laughed softly and nodded her head. "Don't worry about clothes. I still have some of their things here. I can throw them in the wash".

"Thanks mom" she said appreciatively. Soraya took her plate, seeing that she wasn't going to eat it, and went to the kitchen. Rae went over to the living room to finish watching the movie with the boys. When it finished she took Noah upstairs for his bath and Calvin started another movie. Rae washed Noah up then washed up his hair then let him play in the water for a bit before getting him out of the tub. She dried him off, put lotion on his skin and got him into pajamas. She had to blow dry his hair so he didn't go to bed with it wet. She got him tucked in and went down to pick a book to read to him. He was fast asleep when she came back. She kissed his forehead then turned out his light and pulled his door up, leaving it open just a crack. She took the book back down to the library and told Calvin it was time for bed. She shut off the movie and sent him to take a shower. Jimmy was staying at a friend's for the night so, once he was showered and dressed for bed, she sent him downstairs. She cleaned up the mess the boys had left in the living room and picked up in Noah's toy room before going downstairs to say goodnight.

"Are you and mom still fighting?" Calvin asked as she tucked him in.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Because we're staying at grandma's again" he answered.

"Well, mom's at work and grandma offered to give me the night off. She's gonna take you to school in the morning and drop Noah at daycare. I'm gonna use the day to get some studying done, maybe run some errands".

"So, you and mom aren't fighting then?" he asked. Rae chuckled.

"Your mom and I have our problems…"

"But you're not breaking up, right?"

"No" she said quickly. "We're not breaking up. Couples argue, all couples. The ones that say they don't probably aren't being honest. It doesn't mean we don't love each other or that we don't want to be together. We're different people and that means we won't always see eye on eye on things. So we argue but we always work it out. Always".

"You promise?"

"I promise" she said confidently. She pulled his covers up over him and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight".

"Goodnight". She turned out the lights and walked upstairs. Her mother was there waiting for her. She'd packed some of the leftovers for her to take home. She got her coat on, took the food and thanked her again for keeping the boys overnight. Her mother saw her out and she headed home. She stopped at the store for a carton of ice cream before finally making it home to an empty apartment. She wondered how long it would be until Olivia would be home or if she would be home at all. She grabbed her notebook, a pen, her carton of ice cream, and a spoon and settled down on the couch. She clicked her pen and opened her notebook to a clean sheet of paper to start on the assignment the counselor gave them. After ten minutes of sitting there and writing nothing, she put the pen and notepad down, turned on the tv to watch Netflix and started eating her ice cream.

It was just past one in the morning when the locked turned on the front door and Olivia walked in. Rae was still sitting on the couch eating chips and mini donuts. She'd made another run to the twenty-four-hour market for a bunch of snacks and more ice cream. Then it was back to the couch for more mindless eating and mindless tv. Olivia walked over and joined her, reaching into her bag and grabbing a handful of chips. She noticed the donuts, the cookies, the chips, the soda, the pack of skittles and mini snickers bars. She'd never seen Rae just sit and eat junk food like this.

"Did you have a bad day?" Olivia asked looking at her.

"No" she said still staring at the tv. "Did you?"

"No".

"That's good" she said still watching tv.

"Where are the boys?" Olivia asked noticing their bedroom doors were open.

"My mom wanted them tonight" she said before taking another donut and eating it.

"Calvin has school in the morning".

"I know that" Rae said obviously. "My mom is gonna take him" she said eating yet another donut. "And she's gonna take Noah to daycare" she added.

"Rae, why are you sitting here at one thirty in the morning eating a bunch of junk food?"

"I was bored" she said simply.

"So you're eating junk food and watching bad movies because you're bored?"

"Yep".

"Well, I'm gonna go to bed" Olivia said getting up from the couch. "I have to be back at the precinct at eight".

"Goodnight" Rae said not taking her eyes off the tv.

"Night" Olivia said softly. She headed into the bedroom to shower and get in bed. Rae stayed on the couch eating her junk food and watching her movies. She got a blanket from the closet and got comfortable on the couch to finish her movie. She fell asleep before it ended.


	13. Chapter 13: Together, always

**AN: I'm back! Finally. I so apologize for the wait but here's a new chapter with more to come very soon. As always, (respectful) comments/reviews are very welcome. Also, if you have any suggestions for things you'd like to see in the story feel free to leave it in the comments section.**

Chapter 13: Together, always

The alarm sounded loudly at seven am. Olivia woke up to find that Rae wasn't in bed with her. She laid on her back, put her hand on her forehead and let out a huff of air. She knew things weren't a little rough between her and Rae and that they'd have no but she didn't think things were bad enough for her to be sleeping on the couch. She reluctantly got up from bed and went to the kitchen. She put on the coffee pot before returning to their bedroom to get ready for work. She brushed her teeth and washed her face then got dressed. She went back to the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee to take with her and grabbed a muffin and banana from the frig. She went over to the door and set them down on the side table while she put on her coat. She looked over to the living room and saw Rae sleeping peacefully on the couch. Stepping over quietly, she kneeled down and brushed the hair from in front her face then stared at her for a minute before speaking.

"Rae" she said softly, trying to rouse her. She caressed her hair and said her name again, louder. "Araeyah". Rae inhaled deeply and stretched before slowly exhaling. Her eyes fluttered open to see a fully dressed Olivia kneeling in front of her, her coat already on.

"What time is it?" she asked, her voice thick with sleep. Olivia looked at her watch.

"Seven thirty five" she answered. Rae put her face in the couch pillow and groaned. Olivia chuckled softly.

"Oh my god" she said lifting her face from the pillow. "I didn't mean to fall asleep in here".

"Why don't you go get in bed" Olivia asked even though it wasn't really a question. "I have to get going" she said standing up from kneeling. Rae sat up and stretched more fully before standing up from the couch. They walked together over to the door. Rae unlocked and opened it while Olivia grabbed her coffee and breakfast from the table. She turned to her fiancé to say goodbye.

"I'll see you tonight for dinner?" she asked. Rae nodded. Olivia stood there, not exactly sure how to leave things between them. Araeyah made the decision for her. She reached up and pulled Olivia down by her collar, bringing their lips together.

"I love you" she said still holding on to her collar.

"I love you too" Olivia responded before kissing her again. Of course they could never keep it to just one. Rae let go of Olivia's collar and pushed her out the door before things got too hot and heavy.

"You better go now or you'll be late" she said with a sigh. Olivia wanted to say to hell with it and carry Rae to the bedroom. She was the boss. She could be late if she wanted. But she resisted the urge. They were into a new case and she needed to be there to on time.

"I'll see you tonight".

"You will" she assured her. Olivia leaned in and connected their lips for one more kiss then headed off to work. Rae closed and locked the door then headed to their room and got in bed and got into bed. She got comfortable under the covers and pushed everything from her mind and drifted back to sleep. When she woke up again it was nearing ten thirty. She decided it was time to get up and get started on her day. She went in the bathroom to brush her teeth, wash her face and showered, then got dressed in leggings and sweater. She put her hair in a ponytail then went out into the living room and cleaned up the mess she'd left the night before. Then she cleaned the rest of the apartment even though there wasn't much that needed cleaning. She gathered all the laundry, separated it and took the baskets down to the laundry to start washing. There was no one else in the laundry room so all of the washers and dryers were free. She would able to do all the loads at once. She took up three washers, adding clothes and detergent and started them before heading back upstairs.

Once back in the apartment, she settled down on the couch with her notebook and pen to work on the assignment Alice had given them. She thought for a moment about their relationship and started writing everything she could think about its progression. She started with them meeting at the precinct, their first almost kiss, their semi-dating/Olivia's hesitation to be with her, officially dating, taking their first break and getting back together. Then she wrote down their first time, Halloween, when she lost her virginity to Olivia; their trouble with Charles, Olivia's trouble at work, their first holidays together, her trouble with Jimmy, their first vacation together, and their first big break up. She stopped. She thought back to the first time they broke up; when her mother interfered and convinced Olivia to end things between them. It was the start of the biggest problems for them. Olivia hiding something from her, making a decision about their relationship without her, not communicating with her. Even though so much time had passed and they'd come a long way since then, it seemed they'd never recovered from it. Those problems had, not only persisted, but worsened. She put a star next to that event before moving on. She wrote down every milestone she could think of from them getting Calvin to losing him and getting him back again. Noah's adoption, their engagement, and everything in between. She wrote down everything and ended her list with their first counseling session with Dr. Jeffries. She went over the list to make she hadn't left anything out. Once she was satisfied with it, she closed the notebook and went to put it away. She went down the laundry room, put the clothes in the dryer then went back upstairs. She sat on the couch and watched TV for a while before shutting it off and going to her room. She got her books out, settled down in her bed and tried to study but she couldn't focus. She kept thinking about the list she'd made about their relationship and everything they'd been through together. One thing that was made clear to her from making that list was that she loved Olivia and she couldn't imagine living without her. She and the boys meant everything to her and their family was worth fighting for. Any doubts she had about going to therapy to work through things with her fiancé faded away.

Araeyah put her books away and got up from the bed. She changed out of her leggings into jeans and put her boots on then grabbed her bag and headed to the door. She put on her coat and headed out, forgetting about the laundry she had going downstairs. She got in her car and drove over to the precinct and went up in the elevator. Most everyone who worked there regularly knew who she was. She smiled and said hello to everyone who greeted her as she made her way down the hall and into the squad room. She walked in and saw Amanda, Fin and Sonny sitting at their desks. Amanda noticed her first.

"Hey" she said surprised to see her. Fin and Sonny looked over to see who she was talking to.

"Hey Rae" Sonny said with a smile.

"What's up girl" Fin said as smooth and cool as ever.

"Hey guys" she said with a wave and a smile.

"What brings you in?" Dodds asked from his desk. He recognized her name and knew she was the Lieutenant's fiancé. Rae didn't recognize him but held her smile.

"Rae this is our new sergeant Mike Dodds" Amanda said introducing them. "Dodds this Araeyah Caston, Liv's fiancé". He stood up and took a few steps forward to meet her with an outstretched hand.

"Nice to meet you" he said politely with a smile. Rae took his hand and gave it a firm shake.

"Nice to meet you too" she said nicely. "Is she in?" she asked referring to Olivia.

"Yeah, she's in there" Fin said pointing to her office. Rae turned and walked over to Olivia's office door and knocked.

"Come in" Olivia yelled through the closed door. She looked up as the door opened and saw her fiancé enter. "Hey" she asked pleasantly surprised.

"Hi. I was bored at home alone so I thought I'd come bother you" she said with a shrug. "Can you do lunch?" Olivia looked at the folders full of paper stacked on her desk and thought about how much she had to do. Still, she'd rather have lunch with Rae.

"Yes" she said after some thought. "Yes I can". She got up from the desk and put her coat on then took Rae's hand and headed out of her office. "I'm heading out for lunch" she announced as they stepped out into the squad room. "Dodds, hold down the fort?"

"You got it". They walked out of the squad room, went down in the elevators, and left out of the precinct hand in hand to Rae's car.

"So where do you wanna go eat?" she asked as she started the car.

"Ummm….home?" she asked.

"Ok" Olivia said with a shrug. She thought for sure that since Rae came out she'd wanna eat at a restaurant somewhere. But she was fine to do whatever Rae wanted. She put the car in reverse and pulled out the parking spot, then in drive and out of the parking lot towards home. She parked in her usual spot when they arrived and they went upstairs together. Olivia unlocked the door and went inside, Rae close behind her. She set her keys on the side table and hung up her coat and went over to the kitchen to look in the frig. Araeyah hung her up her coat next to Olivia's.

"so what do you feel like, babe?" Olivia asked from the kitchen. "We have some leftovers that look good to eat. Or we can have sandwiches" she said giving a couple of suggestions. She felt pressure on the door to the refrigerator and let go, allowing Rae to push it shut.

"I'm not hungry for food" she said seductively.

"Really?" Olivia asked with a sly smile. She moved into her fiancé and brought their lips together. Rae brought her hands up and started to unbutton Olivia's shirt. Olivia did what she'd wanted to do earlier that morning before leaving. She lifted Rae and carried her to the bedroom. An hour later, Olivia hadn't returned from lunch and her squad was wondering what was keeping her. Sonny drew the short stick on having to call and check on her. Olivia's cell rang from her pants pocket on the floor of their bedroom. She ignored it and kept her focus on Rae. It stopped ringing and then started again a moment later. She groaned and turned over onto her stomach to reach for her pants. She pulled on one leg until she could reach the pocket and retrieve her phone.

"Benson" she said finally answering. Rae started to kiss her, starting at the small of her back.

"Hey Lieu" Carisi said on the other end, "You've been gone awhile. Everything alright?" Rae kissed and licked her way up to her shoulder.

"Yeah, Carisi. Everything's…." she let out a small moan when Rae sank her teeth into her shoulder before soothing the bite with her tongue. "fine" she said with a sigh. "I'll be back soon, ok? Bye" she said quickly before hanging up the phone. Carisi stifled a laugh as he hung up.

"What's up? She alright" Fin asked.

"Oh, I think she's more than alright" he answered.

"What's that mean?"

"I don't think the lieutenant took a regular lunch break….if you catch my drift". Everyone laughed, realizing what he was saying. Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Olivia dropped her phone down on top of her pants and turned back over onto her back. Rae settled on top of her, straddling her waist and kissing her on the lips.

"I think Carisi knows we're having sex" Olivia said with a slight blush on her cheeks at the thought of her squad knowing what she was up to.

"Opps" Rae said even though it hadn't been an accident. Olivia rolled them over and teased at Rae's side causing her to squirm and giggle. "Ok, ok. I'm sorry" she said giving a more genuine apology.

"You're gonna have my squad gossiping about me".

"Um hmm" she said with a nod. Olivia chuckled and brought their lips together again and they picked up where they left off before Olivia's phone interrupted. Half an hour later, they were out of bed getting dressed. They left the apartment together and stopped to pick up a real lunch before dropping Olivia back at work. She went up to the squad room and felt four sets of eyes on her when she walked in. She ignored them and preceded into her office.

"Have a good lunch break" Fin asked just as she got to her office door. She stopped just inside her door and looked back over her shoulder.

"Yes" she said with a satisfied smile. "Yes I did". She continued inside and shut her door behind her. She set her lunch on her desk then shook off her coat and hung it on the back of her chair before taking a seat. She thought about her afternoon with Rae and couldn't help the smile on her face. She thought about the tension between them after their first session with the therapist and everything they'd been through in their relationship. Their problems never seemed big enough to keep them away from each other. Even when they weren't together they weren't apart for very long. They always found a way to be in each other's lives. That thought was enough to ease Olivia's worries about where they would end up. Whatever happened she knew they'd end up together, same as always. She decided now would be the perfect time to work on the assignment Dr. Jeffries had given them. She grabbed a pen and notebook and flipped to a clean sheet of paper. She took a breath, spent another moment in thought and started writing.


End file.
